Sunday, May 3, 2015

The one where we move across the country

Yup. It's finally happening. We're packing up this crazy and heading back east. Charleston, SC to be specific. This is a move that has been 2+ years in the making. The last time we talked about it here was when I announced we weren't moving like we thought, AND I was pregnant with little man...the double shock that had me reeling for quite a while.

But it's here now. And don't get me wrong. It would have been hard to move then. But now?? Now, it seems impossible.

It's impossible that I'm moving my tribe. Away from my people. Away from their playmates. Away from my playmates. Away from our church family. It's impossible, and it's happening. And it's getting a little too real in here for my liking...

I know this is the plan for our family. We were sent down to SC for a house hunting trip. While we were there, our house here went on the market. We found, and put an offer on a house in a fabulous part of Mt. Pleasant. Where we met the neighbors. Who just moved in 2 weeks ago and have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. And the house was $50,000 under our budget. And we can build a tree house in the backyard. And while we were doing all that? We got 2 list price offers on our house. 2. And ended up getting more than asking price.And every. single. devotional I've done has been about change, and God's timing, and affirming that this is the right move for us.

But it's not making things easier for me.

The idea of being so close to our family in Jersey? That makes me leap for joy. A car ride, and not a 6 hour plane ride. The same time zone. If needed, an hour and a half plane trip. Especially as little man is hitting that lovely age where he hates sitting still and can't be entertained for more than 20 minutes at a time. The ability to host Thanksgiving for my family at MY HOUSE. All of that is so exciting.

Not exciting? Finding all new playmates for my kidlets. Finding another tribe to do coffee and parks and venting and leaving the kiddos in a room and letting them fend for themselves and life together with. That's gonna take time. And I'm not a patient woman. Also? I suuuuuuuuuuuuuck at making friends. Super suck at it. Like, I bought 2 books on HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS. because I'm lame. (the one I read already is amazeballs- "Women are Scary" by Melanie Dale. It's like she jumped in my brain and wrote about it.)

Momlationships- I love having them. I'm scared shitless making them. I suffer from the "I'm so not cool enough to go and talk to her because why on earth would SHE want to talk to me? I'm such a nerd." Combine that with my bitchy resting face and you have a recipe for disaster. People end up thinking I'm a total snob. I'm also uber awkward, snort laugh, and loudly over share. ALWAYS. Wanna be my friend??

And there's something a little bit magical about my tribe here. A lot a bit magical. I'm not trying to kid myself into thinking this will be recreated somewhere else. And it makes my heart hurt. I can't really think about it, because I just go straight into ugly cry. Typically, the hubbs gets to deal with the hiccuping sobs that hit me if I start to think or talk about leaving too much.

And in the meantime? While I should be getting to spend as much time as possible with people that I love....I got sick. Then the kidlets got sick. Girlfriend got a fever for the 2nd time ever....It lasted for A WEEK and got up to 105 for 2 nights. WWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTT????? Are you kidding me? I get it. We're stressed, we dealt with time change, crazy all day outings looking for houses, being on airplanes, eating craptastic food. But COME ON. we basically hunkered down in our house for 2 weeks. Except when the home inspection was done on our house. When I took two sick kiddos out of bed and drove them around for THREE HOURS. Cause I'm sure that helped them feel better. Timing and all.

And now we have, as a friend so eloquently put it, 17 fucking days left. 17. Days. It's just. I'm ready. I'm ready to not live in limbo. To get into this new house and make it our own. To feel like we can get back to some sort of routine instead of the "throw the kids in front of a movie so mommy and daddy can get done the 74 thousand things we need to do before we leave". I'm ready for that.

I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to not have regular playdates. I'm not ready to be the new girl in town. To have the new kids in town. To have to explain how we roll to new people. I'm not ready and I'm a little scared and I'm a lot sad and all the feelings. I'M ALL THE FEELINGS.

And I have to learn to be granola in a new place. A place where they are WAY behind in the organic movement. Not to mention our alternative vaccine schedules, holistic approach to meds, and favoring a naturopath over a pediatrician. Not sure that will be widely accepted. But we're moving in, crunchy guns blazing.

It's been a while. And this is why. The meals have been basic repeats, when we have time to cook. I've gotten real pissy about lots of goings on. But I can't find a second to write about it.

And so that's what's up here.

I'm sure our 2 WEEK CAR TRIP ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH A 1 AND 3 1/2 YEAR OLD will give me some blog fodder.

loves!

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