tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9443714151362057792024-03-13T22:16:59.566-04:00Jersey Girl Gone GranolaLiving the organic/whole food/homeschool life, finally back in Jersey, on a farm! Passionately yelling, er, telling you about it.Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-86160395265749142732021-10-20T17:19:00.001-04:002021-10-20T17:19:11.541-04:00Even in a pandemic, I didn't blog. I'm the literal worst. <p> Being home all day, every day, for the last bit of forever, still somehow did not lead me to blog. I have zero excuses. I mean, I have *some* excuses, but I'll save them and just recap. Charleston was kicking my ass all over the place. Between the never ending mold, the humidity, and the excessive heat AT ALL MONTHS OF THE YEAR, I was D O N E. Hubbs' job had us relocate to just outside of Paris, France for 3 months (yes, we lived in France for 3 FULL MONTHS and I still have yet to blog about it because, again, literal worst.) We discovered that the fresh air, the mold free environment, and the food- good Lord THE FOOD- not only improved my anxiety, but had boyfriend absolutely blossoming. We agreed then that we needed to get out of SC as quickly as possible.
It broke our hearts to leave our cul-de-sac crew. We could not have dreamed up a better group of people to neighbor with, and leaving them was gut wrenching. Leaving the house that spent 5 years trying to kill me? Not so much.<br /></p><p> Hubbs got a temporary (at first) position at the Boeing in Philly, and we moved back to where my heart has always called home- New Jersey. Don't laugh. It's gorgeous here and it's one of the most populated states, so, you know, we're right and Jersey rocks.
It turns out that all those years Hubbs tried to get a position in Philly, his resume wasn't even looked at. When we got married, he was not a citizen of the US. A few months after we got married, he became a citizen.... and forgot to put that information into the Boeing system. As Philly is a military site, he couldn't get a job there. He became a citizen in 2006. He updated the Boeing system (accidentally) in 2019. Oops. Insert face palm here.
Since neither of us wanted his commute to be an hour and a half, we decided to live in South Jersey, about an hour away from both of our parents. Jersey is a very small state. And somehow I had never been to south Jersey. I don't even understand the logistics of that, but it is what it is. We're finding it's an entirely different state over here....and also I can't stop referring to us as "up here" to everyone in our family when we are most definitely down and a little over, because directions are hard.
We had a fantastic townhouse rental for the first year while waiting to see if the job would become permanent that had basically a professional kitchen (the landlord owns a bunch of restaurants). I will always and forever miss the fridge there. Le sigh. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQYexqrB1WrqbIFVL6ZelZTugHr9O9APOoMyKaC7rhaddVG4UP09WqArYltnR3rKkvXJIfXdxhj-PdsQ5jpxVtMsbHSWTesUsfJQZtBT9011EmNm1vvypHDgktcsY6AFlN0If1Ch4IyMI/s1080/blog8.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQYexqrB1WrqbIFVL6ZelZTugHr9O9APOoMyKaC7rhaddVG4UP09WqArYltnR3rKkvXJIfXdxhj-PdsQ5jpxVtMsbHSWTesUsfJQZtBT9011EmNm1vvypHDgktcsY6AFlN0If1Ch4IyMI/s320/blog8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRp5vLiU4sMDT2dFr3p3-PCrucRGIuUL0bMnRjWqFM_n4M2qqu_Jsz7nflRQ7VCvmwfexgD-Su0y6Db2EyENUUtY5L0vW7xqRjPv6NNbvnGc4x2zxrfJVvTOfjoM0qxbLTCaXuKwQpl-s/s1080/blog9.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRp5vLiU4sMDT2dFr3p3-PCrucRGIuUL0bMnRjWqFM_n4M2qqu_Jsz7nflRQ7VCvmwfexgD-Su0y6Db2EyENUUtY5L0vW7xqRjPv6NNbvnGc4x2zxrfJVvTOfjoM0qxbLTCaXuKwQpl-s/s320/blog9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAfuR0AgvlvCiSiMgNwL0v2Xmf39Og_23DuhyfFKklSI7aC6Ywzz3X5y9RHw0lOdMyhGf3yDoGKxAfnIJeup5brQFGIA42Wr8OW4tSR529FQ7VMwa7oGKa6T1o6HZ6fNRRftypXAiGrSA/s1080/blog10.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAfuR0AgvlvCiSiMgNwL0v2Xmf39Og_23DuhyfFKklSI7aC6Ywzz3X5y9RHw0lOdMyhGf3yDoGKxAfnIJeup5brQFGIA42Wr8OW4tSR529FQ7VMwa7oGKa6T1o6HZ6fNRRftypXAiGrSA/s320/blog10.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
We started looking at houses in February 2020. We saw a LOT. A ton that I thought I would love- open floor plans, newer construction, giant kitchens... and they all sucked. Like didn't take us more than a 5 minute tour to decide thanks but no. There was one farmhouse, from the 1850's, that I had my heart set on. THE FIREPLACE that had room for like 8 people inside of it. Dreamy. We finally got to see it...and I swear it was haunted. I could not get out of there fast enough. I have lived with enough ghosts (seriously) and I can not handle that ish right now. We had one more house to see. From the pics on zillow, I was 1,000% not interested. At all. It was of course hubbs' first choice. We pulled up, and it felt like home. It was a no brainer. Our 1853 farmhouse had been lovingly rehabbed by the people we were buying it from, and they stayed as true as they could to the original. They kept the original floors, and the walls that needed repair they kept plaster instead of dry wall. It used to be a 15 acre raw dairy farm, but there are only 3 acres now. We do have 2 giant barns and 2 huge silos which still contain a lot of old equipment, so huge win! <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidAi9-gf2QfgMZcJ1FlpS73lB3WWSGAkcQKfipRwwWW0aauzm6ByZ-bzFLC61tiBT3pVOfNnPglfaW8lihLXpxX9ctMjCiE5cJW_jRXivvsO72-wkuQfZ7xougkeF6eZPvpUmLVfrJ25g/s1080/blog5.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidAi9-gf2QfgMZcJ1FlpS73lB3WWSGAkcQKfipRwwWW0aauzm6ByZ-bzFLC61tiBT3pVOfNnPglfaW8lihLXpxX9ctMjCiE5cJW_jRXivvsO72-wkuQfZ7xougkeF6eZPvpUmLVfrJ25g/s320/blog5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisg5wNaiztvNHW9mZQOqc4NGTzPtWwaSJM5oRCul47U3GhkZC3YVOwSZqLpIuSNP3_noOVF8RD9Clh4j1ivUEZam4ZU9YRjeW3KYoU3PG7NTQGqTAl8H3QaQK7QeIIFXTlZlD4DP0JJsU/s2220/blog11.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="2220" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisg5wNaiztvNHW9mZQOqc4NGTzPtWwaSJM5oRCul47U3GhkZC3YVOwSZqLpIuSNP3_noOVF8RD9Clh4j1ivUEZam4ZU9YRjeW3KYoU3PG7NTQGqTAl8H3QaQK7QeIIFXTlZlD4DP0JJsU/w195-h400/blog11.jpg" width="195" /></a></div><p>
I still can't believe we live here. Also. If someone could give me some tips on how to turn my black thumb green, that'd be great. It seems like a huge waste to not be growing our own food since we have AN ORCHARD with all sorts of delicious fruit trees. But I'm the black plague of plantlife.
Anyway, a whole separate post needs to be done on this house and all the work we've done and aaaaallllll the pics and how it's led to my obsession with Cheap Old Houses (who will hopefully be visiting us someday!). </p><p> </p><p>And not to be all cavalier about it, but I've been in some serious anxiety/ depression spirals these last few years. Turns out, trauma and mold and health scares and unknowns with your kiddos can build up and explode and leave you grateful for a pandemic where not leaving your house is recommended. Again, separate post for aaaallll of it. I'm grateful I can see the other side now, and aware I still have so much work to do. That was heavier than intended for a "hey remember me!?!?!?" post but here we are. </p><p>And then there's these clowns.
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Our circus has expanded by one old dog- an 8 year old lab/bull dog rescue who is the sweetest and also who murders the groundhogs on our property with little to no blood shed, so also very handy to have around. Girlfriend is an actual artist- her paintings, drawings, and cake decorations are mind blowing, and her love for all things animals knows no bounds. And boyfriend is still Houdini reincarnate, class clown and best smoosher. I may have had to drag hubbs back to the dirty Jers, but he's pretty excited about his giant garage and workshop so I think he's forgiven me. These peeps are my whole entire heart and I can't believe we have a 10 and 7 year old. On a farm. With a dog. Like, how???</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDEpVq-Z3GxEGrsB7ujeRvjXe8NK4ZvrpvWRw_Mn1-gPEi45K55uks5T_8IT65JENLVH5bSJFISOSXdveAr_J8FZb4_OjiaQbsmNa3AOxX1_u9kp4jicnMITf95QXpY3_j1OnvDSWfnFc/s1080/blog15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDEpVq-Z3GxEGrsB7ujeRvjXe8NK4ZvrpvWRw_Mn1-gPEi45K55uks5T_8IT65JENLVH5bSJFISOSXdveAr_J8FZb4_OjiaQbsmNa3AOxX1_u9kp4jicnMITf95QXpY3_j1OnvDSWfnFc/s320/blog15.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMNi5jQqXIovUyTVIQVmZ5LGnUekSwXtoIV3OnFDVdMjoOneoxclo2kjAWiXtHXdz4LCnR3tb-VFNJm1gD-Y0MCNf2NpgLyu-0nsUs1C6qIj2gBRlWPdDAnJpXIwleEp7skZgANY9iOvk/s1080/blog16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMNi5jQqXIovUyTVIQVmZ5LGnUekSwXtoIV3OnFDVdMjoOneoxclo2kjAWiXtHXdz4LCnR3tb-VFNJm1gD-Y0MCNf2NpgLyu-0nsUs1C6qIj2gBRlWPdDAnJpXIwleEp7skZgANY9iOvk/s320/blog16.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2DdNd6rwafv1Bs5rkpehzX0NVhmf-Kczrca0y1-gSb-GVbCh2MuXlaQmXPkH-2dl4geEdp5EMnjRxNhDDL4UzkOGgy6mb9mxkEsDdM0yzZK1kOoKhcIaT-gJACOCdKCjE5altG8ia6tM/s1080/blog17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2DdNd6rwafv1Bs5rkpehzX0NVhmf-Kczrca0y1-gSb-GVbCh2MuXlaQmXPkH-2dl4geEdp5EMnjRxNhDDL4UzkOGgy6mb9mxkEsDdM0yzZK1kOoKhcIaT-gJACOCdKCjE5altG8ia6tM/s320/blog17.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7ao4hXrUqOlFOPAa__hfXfml7SgLA4R21rkVNIO4_mAoJiXo539_7N_AReZbqy-fcHLagKdOrmeyIcSOjsSK4MlnaNvB5fyADC_McdEF8EsY6hyLXHHMdO9h341JIf-AaBHHu_o9H_Ak/s1080/blog18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7ao4hXrUqOlFOPAa__hfXfml7SgLA4R21rkVNIO4_mAoJiXo539_7N_AReZbqy-fcHLagKdOrmeyIcSOjsSK4MlnaNvB5fyADC_McdEF8EsY6hyLXHHMdO9h341JIf-AaBHHu_o9H_Ak/s320/blog18.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p> Buying and selling houses and moving amidst a pandemic was not as much fun as you'd think. But 2020 for us will always be the year we moved to our forever home. Life looks absolutely nothing like I thought it would 20 years ago when I met hubbs, but it turned out to be what we didn't know we needed. 💖</p>Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-32907601923048209432019-07-18T23:39:00.001-04:002019-07-19T00:18:16.332-04:00Life is LifeyWell. It's been over a year. And I think "perhaps I should just give up on this blogging thing", and then my mind spins at night with aaaaaalllllll the things I want and need to say. And I say "tomorrow morning I shall blog." And morning comes. And no blogging is accomplished. Because mornings are of the devil and I renounce them.<br />
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There are SO MANY THINGS to say. I'm not sure where to begin but here's a brief-ish rundown of life. Boyfriend turned 5 in March and remains mostly non-verbal (he chatters constantly, he sings songs with a lot of the words in them, he imitates girlfriend a lot, but there's not a ton of spontaneous talking in a language we understand going on). We missed his evaluation that we had to wait a year to get because we ended up MOVING TO PARIS for 3 months (there will be blogging on this FOR SURE coming soon) the day after it was scheduled and there was no way we could make the appointment. Which is now rescheduled for October. I have thoughts on this. Also, we found more mold in our house because of course we did. I've had lots of health nonsense and anxiety and adrenal fatigue and guilt over all of it. We've taken a break from the myriad of supplements for boyfriend and I, and a break from the diets (because hello France!). My favorite phrase has been "opt out" and I *may* have overused it a bunch this past year- ie opting out of answering my phone, going out in public at all, being social... So, you know, super healthy.<br />
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I turned 40 September of 2018, and as a surprise, the hubbs scheduled a weekend away for me with my Rain City girls in Seabrook, WA. Booked my flight, and contacted them to help work the details for a beachy vacay. He gave me the gift in August and told me I had a month to get my shit together, get over my anxiety, and get ready to finally get the break that I desperately needed. Cut to me having mini panic attacks over leaving my children overnight for the very first time and being 3,000 miles away. Plus, I'm the wooooooorst traveler. I used to have no issues (except motion sickness, but that's what Bonine is for). But now? I rely on hubbs to help navigate my ridiculous anxiety about everything and to hold my luggage while I go puke. The week before the trip, I got a UTI, which I have NEVER EVER HAD BEFORE IN MY LIFE. I took all the natural things to make it go away, but my kidneys started to really hurt. So during a hurricane when nothing else was open I went to the ER. And they gave me antibiotics. Which wrecked my whole digestive system and left me not able to get out of bed. I only took the meds for 3 days, left one day for my body to hopefully return to semi-normal, and I got my ass on that plane. There was a ton of dry heaving and crying. But I did it. And it was one of the best weekends of my life. My girls are amazing. The ocean air was refreshing (AND NOT A THOUSAND DEGREES!!). It was exactly what I needed, and I would like a weekend away every month.<br />
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The best way to enter my 40's!<br />
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I had my first thermography scan done. I didn't want to do a mammogram- all that radiation and the rates on detection are not that great. And honestly, with all of my issues with endometriosis and digestive troubles, I'm thinking I've got other body parts I need to worry about. The scan covered every little bit of my body, was painless (although you do stand naked in a room getting pics taken for about an hour, but it was way less awkward than I thought it would be), and happily the only issue it showed was that my entire back is a hot mess of spasms, which is not surprising.<br />
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I also started seeing a counselor for my anxiety. Just talking to her lifted a large elephant off my chest. Enough that I decided to take the kids to the beach by myself while the hubbs was traveling. I quickly realized why I don't do that solo- boyfriend put on quite the show when I tried to drag his fully dressed body out of the ocean (it was late October), and I threw out my back getting his kicking and screaming self back to the car. And of course, no one stared judgementally at us at all. But hey. I did it.<br />
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And I've done A LOT of reading. I mean, I love reading, I love researching, but MAN I've done a crap ton of not for fun reading. Along with homeschooling with a new (and AMAZING) curriculum, The Good and The Beautiful. I've been looking into red light therapy, oxygen therapy, a trillion different things to get boyfriend talking, to figure out how to make my body deal with heat again. How to detox again from mold. But most importantly, reading all sorts of stuff for boyfriend.<br />
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So. My thoughts. We're obviously aware that boyfriend is different from "typical" kiddos. He's definitely delayed in some areas- talking is the most noticeable. He's advanced in climbing, Houdini-ing his way out of things- especially those that are safety related, taking apart and putting together all the things, and hiding really really well. He has a laser focus with puzzles and figuring things out. All traits he shares with his older sister, who also didn't really talk until she was 3.<br />
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He makes great eye contact with daddy, sister and I. Not always with other people. But I have this same issue- I still find it SO challenging to make eye contact, especially that lasts for more than a second or two. Until fairly recently, we weren't getting much in the way of listening from him. But now he follows directions and doesn't try to run away. We can take walks now and he mostly stays with us. Which is a huge change. Thank God, cause there are only so many tiny heart attacks I can have on a daily basis. He has his fair share of meltdowns and tantrums. Partly from not being able to just say what he wants...although he does a real good job of letting us know what he's after without using words. Lucky for me, I'm able to comfort him really quickly. Not so fortunate for others who have tried to watch him. He imitates other kiddos and usually likes to play with them, although there are times he'd rather just do his own thing (like mamma like son). He knows the alphabet and how to count to twenty, and actually count things, not just say the numbers. He's not potty trained yet. That's sort of on both of us. I'm reluctant to push it when he can't tell us when he has to go AND I just got his pooping to where it needs to be, going every day. He was an every 3rd day pooper, leading to SIBO and gut nonsense. I don't want to rock this boat because I will cry all the tears if he starts holding his poop. I've dedicated YEARS of my life to being a poop doula and I'm 100 hundred percent all done with that. So if he stays in diapers a little longer, so be it. He loves being naked, and hands us a diaper when he has to go. But he refuses to go on the potty. He'll just hold it and hold it. So here we are.<br />
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I've been reading the book "Differently Wired" which I absolutely love love love. Based off of the descriptions in her book, and some of the checklists I've completed, to me it seems like boyfriend has a global delay and SPD. Obviously I'm not an expert, but I am an expert on boyfriend. And reading this book has given me confidence that yes, I do know what's best for my son. And it's helping me really stop and think about what is best for him (and for me, as his parent). I see that he gets overwhelmed with too much stimulation, noise and sight. We discovered this in DisneyLand Paris for sure. His little heart is so so sensitive. He does not like to be yelled at. It shatters him completely and he shuts down. So if we want him to learn not to do something, shouting is not the way to go. Unless he's about to run into traffic.<br />
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And I'm also learning that I don't always know everything, and trying new things for him isn't a bad thing and my anxious brain just needs to settle the hell down. I was convinced that 4th of July fireworks at a crowded boardwalk was a recipe for disaster. But hubbs convinced me to try it. And he loved every single second of it. Finding the balance of what gets me anxious vs what are good experiences for him is frickin hard. And we've blown it plenty of times (can anyone say DON'T TAKE YOUR 5 YEAR OLD ON THE TOWER OF TERROR??)<br />
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Combine all of this with my crunchy, hippy, European take on schooling (see studies on Finland schools for instance, where they don't start until age 7 and they learn through play and they have some of the smartest kids on the planet right now) and what most parents are doing for their kids, and what we come up with is a constant battle in my brain questioning my gut instincts.<br />
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Brain- wow. all these people getting their kids into therapies and classes by the time they're 2 and 3 to get them to talk sooner. Maybe I should look for a specialized preschool? Should we do more speech and OT? should he be going 4 days a week?<br />
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Gut- hold up. He gets anxious when he's away from you for too long. You can't learn anything when you're stewing in panic. He's fabulous at independent play. He taught himself the alphabet and numbers. He's a really happy kid. Chill.<br />
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Brain- but this is scary! What if he never talks? What if he never potty trains? What if he never likes The Haunted Mansion?<br />
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Gut- he's saying words now. He even said "I want chocolate cookie". He's on his way to talking. And he always lets us know what he wants. You read him like a book. And he will not always want a diaper. Diapers suck. He'll figure it out. And some people hate rides. It happens. Life continues.<br />
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Brain- *asks a million more questions at really inopportune times and makes gut have excessive nervous poop. Brain needs to calm the eff down.<br />
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Add in a bunch of similar nonsense regarding girlfriend, my health, the state of our country, and "what was that noise" and that's basically the hamster wheel that is my brain.<br />
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All this to say, every body is different. Every personality is different. And yes, boyfriend is delayed, but also what if it's ok and acceptable for people to learn differently?<br />
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So. What was my point? I don't even know anymore. A post to say that life is lifey, and adulting is hard, and we've been adventuring, and I'm sorry it's been so ridiculously long. And thanks for giving me a space to work out all the angst in my brain.<br />
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Until I find another hour or two after bedtime, I'll leave you with a gratuitous France pic...<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-51236339053308824122018-03-19T22:58:00.001-04:002018-03-20T10:46:56.218-04:00SIBO- Because life wasn't interesting enough...Well folks. It's pretty clear I suck at keeping up with this blog. It seems we keep finally mastering (or at least having some semblance of calm) about one crazy phase of life, when the next, more insane phase comes around to kick us right in the arse.<br />
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Currently, that phase is known as SIBO. That stands for Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth. This is one of those tricky things that can only be officially diagnosed via a 3 hour breath test, but a lot of markers for it show up in an intense stool sample. I say intense because it requires 3 separate days of multiple poop samples on each of those days. I had to take this test, as did boyfriend. And though it seems like I may have it, it's almost certain that Asher does. My almost 4 year old. Who is still not really communicating. And who loves all things cracker and chip-y. Which are forbidden on the suuuuuuuuper restrictive diet to treat SIBO. And here we go.<br />
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On top of this, he for sure has leaky gut, is leaking toxins, and his body is not absorbing any fats or proteins. Not awesome. But starts to explain a LOT about why he's not developmentally where he should be when it comes to the talking. Since your brain is 60% fats, and he's not getting any....also explains why he's on the small side.<br />
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Since we have been an all organic, mostly no processed foods family since girlfriend's surprise arrival in August of 2011, it seems a bit surprising that his little gut is in such turmoil. Of course, he did get some of this from me. And the aspirin I had to take every day of my pregnancy with him to prevent blood clots (thus preventing another placental abruption) probably didn't help. But I believe our fun little bout with mold helped to destroy his digestive system over the year and a half that we were unaware of it. Mold is a rat bastard and it has sucked the literal life out of our family and I'm ALL FREAKING DONE WITH EFFING MOLD. Though it seems I am not, cause here we are, still trying to get back to 100% health.<br />
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And honestly? I'll take this ALL DAY LONG over something that isn't fixable. I thank God daily that we figured this out early in the game so he's not plagued by life long stomach issues like his mamma. Ones that could lead to auto immune diseases if not kept in check. That when the autism word was thrown around last year while trying to figure out why he wasn't talking, that we didn't just say "OK" and not look any further about other health things. It's awfully hard to try to figure out what's wrong with your child when they can't communicate at all if something is wrong. If their tummy hurts. If certain foods make them feel gross. Luckily my kiddos are not pukers at all. But it makes it hard to know if there is tummy trouble. I waited entirely too long to do it, but I finally went with my gut and decided to check out his.<br />
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Did I in a million years think it would be this bad? Nope. Not even a little. His doc said that she's never seen the leaky gut numbers (there's an official name, that I think starts with a Z?? I don't know...) that bad. Did I think that when we decided to do a stool test for him it would launch us into a diet that makes it virtually impossible to eat out (which makes it pretty impossible to travel) and that would have him taking eleventy million supplements twice a day? I knew there might be some changes we had to make, but man I was not prepared for this.<br />
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The first sign that this was gonna be difficult? The SIBO diet does not allow any garlic or onion. NO. GARLIC. OR. ONION. What in the whole wide world is this nonsense? Find one food that isn't made with garlic or onion! Gah!!<br />
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But we've been figuring it out. With the help of the <a href="https://www.siboinfo.com/uploads/5/4/8/4/5484269/sibo_specific_diet_food_guide_sept_2014.pdf">SIBO specific diet food guide</a> I've been figuring out ways to make our food still yummy. And to add in a crap ton of sneaky veggies into everything. Because boyfriend has never been a fan of fruits and veggies, but his organs are pretty pissed about it, apparently.<br />
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One trick is making garlic infused olive oil for flavor. The other is you can use the green tops of scallions and chives in place of onions.<br />
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I've been posting the successful recipes on facebook and pinterest. My hope is that I can get more detailed recipes here. In between trying to shove all the syringes full of all the supplements into boyfriend's mouth 80 times a day. Ha!<br />
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But for now, I leave you with a recipe I came up with for smothered pork chops because I needed comfort food. And this did NOT disappoint.<br />
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"bread" the pork chops with almond flour, salt and pepper. Brown them in a cast iron skillet with EVOO. Remove from pan. Add some butter and some more almond flour- I think I used 2 to 3 tbsps of butter and probably 2 tbsps of almond flour. Then add pureed 1 yellow squash, 1 zucchini, and a bunch of green scallion tops. Add some dry mustard and sage. Then add bone broth (SIBO only allows you to use bone broth from beef because there is almost no cartilage on them). Add the pork back in and cook on low until meat is done. I served it with some roasted carrots and an arugula salad. I topped mine with feta cheese (not SIBO approved) but raw aged cheddar is and that would have been delish as well. Boyfriend is not a huge cheese fan so he didn't want the cheese.<br />
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This was stupid good. Seriously. Ava drank the gravy. And all the sneaky veggies in that gravy. Mwa-haha. Mamma's learned some tricks.<br />
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EDITED- I should add that since we've started the diet, the supplements, and doing an activated charcoal detox for him, boyfriend has made some HUGE strides in both speaking and in following directions and communicating. It's been pretty amazing, so I'm willing to do whatever it takes to continue! <br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-12696937626188078702018-01-16T14:17:00.001-05:002018-01-17T12:40:54.624-05:00Been a long time gone (or, why my brain hasn't really been functioning)Yup. Forever. Once again, how long it took me to post. Not entirely my fault (some Blogger alternate universe loophole is that trying to access Blogger through Chrome means you no longer have a dashboard or any way to get to your blog. GOOD TIMES!) Technology is amazing. Except for when it doesn't work. Which is almost all the time in this house.<br />
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I digress.<br />
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I have been meaning to post about our fun little 8 week journey with a 3 year old in a full body cast at the height of the summer due to a broken femur. We found some fun tricks that helped us survive and not deal with the dreaded enema/ constipation nightmare that is typical of full body cast life. I will write this post one day. Hopefully in the near future.<br />
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Today, however, is reserved for the fun detour my health took and all the ways it made me a ball of stabby anxiousness. <br />
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So let's just jump right in, shall we?<br />
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For starters. People ask (and honestly I have contemplated this late at night too) "If you only eat organic, mainly non processed foods, and use all natural cleaning/ hygiene/ medicine products, why on earth are you so sick all the time?" This is the 6 million dollar question, friends. And though every body will have a different answer to this question, the overall reason is this- because I am more in tune now with my body than I have ever been. I have cleaned up and out nastiness from years of chemical use on and in my body. So now, when I'm feeling "off", I try to solve the underlying issue, instead of masking the symptoms with more chemicals. Quick example. I used to have the absolute worst heart burn. My gastroenterologist put me on a prescription in a purple bottle (it's been a while and I'm totally blanking on the name of it). It helped for like, a week. And then it was even worse. I read up on it and realized that taking that pill daily was making the heart burn worse because it was blocking my body from making the acid necessary to break down foods. However, my body knew it needed acid to break down food with, and so made even more acid to make up for what the pill was blocking. A hellish circle of heartburn. So I started taking Braggs apple cider vinegar. And within a week, was feeling relief. Now I don't suffer from heartburn at all. (I don't understand all the science behind why something acidic like vinegar heals the heartburn issues. I don't science) So when the average person feels like crap, and the doc prescribes something that really only masks symptoms, down the road they could end up discovering they have cancer. Or an autoimmune disease. Or have a stroke. It feels like it comes out of nowhere, but maybe it's been building up all this time, little by little. Dealing with health stuff the way we do it sometimes means I'll feel real shitty for a while, but I'll be able to clear out whatever garbage is happening in my body, hopefully avoiding it getting to a serious health crisis place that's hard to cure.<br />
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There were a million and one things in my BO (Before Organic) life that I not only was able to deal with, but looooooved. Fabric softener, perfume, windex, scented candles, febreeze. Now, if I get a whiff of that stuff, it's instant pounding headache. Once you kick chemicals out of your life, your body does NOT want them back in. I happen to be ridiculously sensitive to all of it, but every crunchy person I know is the same way. <br />
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So, on this large scale overview of my body- I was starting to feel like utter garbage, and finally decided to get to the bottom of it.<br />
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From January 2017 through September 2017, the whole family was on a gluten, wheat, egg, peanut, chia seed, green pea, cashew, and watermelon free diet. We sent in a blood test for my son, which came back that he was highly intolerant to all of those things, plus a few other random ones. It was a huuuuuuuge change, and not well liked by any of us. We mastered it after a while, and boyfriend did well on the diet. We finally started re-introducing those foods back in and he was fine with all of it.<br />
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I, on the other hand, was tanking fast.<br />
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I had stopped nursing boyfriend in June. And after 6+ years of either being pregnant or nursing, with no breaks, my hormones went ape shit. Off the walls insanity. My moods were uncontrollable, my period and ovulation were a nightmare (1 week of vomiting and constant nausea for period and for ovulation.) 2 full weeks every single month where I was completely non functioning. I had gained weight on the Asher diet, and felt awful every single time I ate. Those gluten free flours do not do well in bodies that don't have a gluten intolerance. Definitely more harmful than helpful.<br />
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And the surprise. My anxiety kicked it up into high gear. Looking back on my life, I realize that I've had low grade anxiety always. I never realized this. I thought it was totally normal to poop 12 times before you left the house to go anywhere, or always get nauseous when you have conversations with people (even friends and family). Or that everyone jumped straight to "they must have gotten in a car wreck and are lying on the side of the road because I called a half hour ago and still haven't heard back from them" (did I mention that I'm a sheer delight to be married to?) Suddenly, what was once my fun little quirk to deal with became crippling. It absolutely got worse after my back injury, mainly because I couldn't physically run after my kids and I have a son who's sole purpose in life is to run away from us and hide. But I still managed to meet up at a park every once in a while. Or take them food shopping. I stopped taking them or myself anywhere outside of our house without the hubbs. Which obviously put a ton of pressure on him. It didn't help that in the midst of this nonsense, he started traveling a ton for work. In the middle of September, he had to fly to Seattle for a week. I got my period, was literally throwing up as he was leaving for the airport, and I just started to spiral. My head and my arms went all tingly and numb, I couldn't really take deep breaths, and I showed girlfriend how to dial 911 and wrote down our address so she could spell it out for them if she couldn't wake me up. It was B A D. I called my mom and begged her to get on a plane and fly down- and she did because she is a saint and has a seat right next to Jesus saved for her. I called my friend Shannon and asked if she could come hang out with the kids until my mom got there, in case I passed out. And these are BIG STEPS for me. I never ask for help. It physically pains me to ask for help. This situation was dire. I really thought I might be dying.<br />
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Turns out, that's a panic attack. I had no idea. I truly believed that I would not be able to take care of my kids by myself. I could barely get out of bed. It became pretty clear that I needed to get to the bottom of my health issues, and probably start some counseling as well.<br />
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I set up an appointment with Merge Medical Center, which is a holistic center that tackles all sorts of stuff. They take a lot of tests, but it gives you the whole picture of what's going on. I also scheduled a Brain MRI, on the off chance that there was something going on since I have a blood clotting condition and my headaches and numbness and dizziness were freaking me right out.<br />
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A stool test, Bio scan, consultation going over every single thing that's every happened to me in my entire life, and 4 gallons of blood later, it turns out that I was a mess. I was in some serious adrenal fatigue- so every tiny little thing sent my fight or flight response into complete nuclear meltdown. My hormone levels were jacked up (I made zero estrogen the day they took my blood, which is pretty abnormal for my age). And I have a lot of infections in my gut and large intestine, and no good bacteria in my gut at all. It was no surprise then, that I was constantly feeling nauseous and panicked and moody and stabby. It was also clear that this was not gonna be an easy quick fix. The amount of supplements and vitamins I am taking, along with avoiding all sorts of random foods that were contributing to the near constant dizziness I was experiencing, is a little overwhelming, to be honest.<br />
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However. I'm seeing improvement. Every month, each period gets better and better. I have been able to take care of the kids while hubbs has been traveling without a panicky meltdown. I've been getting acupuncture to try to kickstart my hormones, and it has been fabulous. My body is starting to be able to handle heat again. Which is good news for my family, who wasn't particularly enjoying our 60 degree house in the winter time. (It still doesn't go above 65, because I'm part polar bear).<br />
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All this to say, it's been another crazy year here in Charleston. It certainly has not been uneventful down here. But I'm beyond grateful that there is a place like Merge, that looks at your entire health system to diagnose you. There is SUCH a strong bond between gut and mental health. So many functions are affected when your gut health is not up to par. Which is why we just took boyfriend there for a workup. I have a feeling we're gonna find some garbage in his gut. And once we get that cleared up, I think we'll see huge improvements in his speech and sleep habits.<br />
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If we're real lucky, maybe he'll stop always trying to escape. One can dream.<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-51288046770212599052017-07-31T15:52:00.000-04:002017-07-31T15:52:01.203-04:00Someday I'll get my ish together...today is not that dayFor. The. Love.<br />
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I mean, really. Another 5 (oops. When I started perhaps. Now it's like 8) months have gone by. And I haven't posted once. I haven't even contemplated posting. I am the literal worst.<br />
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Seems like life keeps throwing punches that leave us scrambling to catch up. In the great "what next in craptacular" saga that is our house... we found mold. Again. Or still. Who even knows. Hubbs and I had a *bit* of a tiff over the leak in the master bath and whether or not it was bad. I maaaaaybe yelled, a lot, that my swelling tongue and lips don't lie and there is still mold and he maaaaybe got fed up with said yelling. And perhaps grabbed a hammer and tore into the tile on the shower and tub out of spite. And, it's entirely possible that we both went "oh shit" as we surveyed damage we had no idea we would find at a time where we had zero things lined up to fix it. Sooooo......yay. And onto searching for new everything, including subfloor, and someone to install it all.<br />
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It occurred to me that since we had everything all ripped open that perhaps we should treat the beams for mold because I never want to have to deal with this nonsense again. So I googled all the things to kill mold. Apparently, KILZ doesn't cut it. There was one treatment and paint that it said worked, but the paint alone was over $300. Then I stumbled onto Green Home solutions. They're a green company that performs mold air quality tests (for $200 less than the other crap company we used and a hell of a lot more thorough) and they fog your house with a chemical free enzyme that eats and destroys mold. They spray down your furniture, curtains, clothes, EV-ER-Y-THING. And it doesn't need to be taken to a cleaners afterward because it's all natural. And so we had it done. And NOW we are officially mold free.<br />
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Cut to a month later. We've been out of our master bedroom and bathroom since February. Finally found a contractor. And BOOM. our upstairs HVAC system crapped out. Turns out, we had different sized air intake and compressor. Meaning it never should have worked (it really never did, hello ridiculous electric bills and a never cool enough upstairs) and it should have died a looooong time ago. Awesome. So we purchased a brand new system. Bleeding money.<br />
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Father's day weekend. Where somehow everything went wrong. Hubbs got poison ivy. We still don't know from where. I kept him far from the kids. But one night boyfriend developed a fever. And then. This.<br />
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I mistook it for poison ivy at first. But NOPE. Both the kids managed to get hand foot and mouth. Thankfully, they were mild cases. So I sequestered us to one room. And at some point, I managed to jack up the good side of my back. Had nerve pain and leg weakness. Went for an MRI. And yup. Some of the "jelly" squished out of my bulging disc on the right side and the fragment was sitting on my nerve. Soooooo.....bed rest mostly. No lifting, no twisting, no bending. Awesome. </div>
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" The room."</div>
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Girlfriend decided her new favorite was to dress up boyfriend and teach him how to dance. Also. Boxes as toys. All. Day. Long.</div>
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So Nana flies down to help take care of 2 restless kiddos to try and heal up my back, cause I can't walk or stand for more than 10 or so minutes on what was previously my fully functional side. Thursday, my son decided to climb down the slide in our house (daddy built an amazing play area inside) while holding a giant toy. He fell off sideways, landing in their box fort that had a plastic chair in it. Snapped his femur. And now, we have this.</div>
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Full body cast for 6 weeks. Can't get wet or sweat (ummmm.... hi from 100 degree humid South Carolina days). Not too much movement. Changing his diaper is now an Olympic sport. He refuses to poop unless he's standing up. Oh yeah. And I CAN'T LIFT ANYTHING. So, you know, totally doable. </div>
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In a nutshell, we cray. And life doesn't look like it will resume normalcy anytime soon. </div>
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But our new bathroom is pretty. (Thanks, Nick of All Trades!)</div>
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So. If you don't hear from me, here's why. I don't even know if I had a chance to write about our adventures with boyfriend's food intolerances diagnosed in January. We've been gluten, egg, coconut, peanut, green pea, cashew, wheat, chia, and watermelon free since then. YEAH. I KNOW. </div>
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I actually ended up baking some pretty delish focaccia and biscuits and other stuff. I posted on my Facebook page and perhaps one day I'll get around to getting the recipes online here. Today is not that day. This year is not that day. We may need to get an exorcism for our house at this point. </div>
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So. How's your summer?? </div>
Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-65945357388512650922017-01-11T12:45:00.000-05:002017-01-11T12:59:05.691-05:00Well, it's been a while....and also Osso Bucco in the Instant PotHi (she says sheepishly...)<br />
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I know. I KNOW. I'm the worst. It's been 8 months. Or something. I don't math.<br />
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Anyway. I have valid reasons. Scattered along with laziness, sickness, and "this all just sucks right now"- ness.<br />
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Here's the short scoop- my health has been taking a nosedive for over a year now. My back, then constant nausea and dizziness, then we added in headaches, threw in some stomach flu (which fixed everything for approximately 2 weeks, then it all returned with a vengeance), and for the grand finale, an allergic reaction that led to my cheeks, lips, and tongue swelling up for mysterious reasons. That was a bit terrifying. Which led to allergy testing via a million skin pricks, which brought out THE WORST allergies I've ever had in my life- itchy eyes, itchy mouth, crazy sneezing, and now a complete inability to wear eye makeup. (For those that know me, I have NEVER LEFT MY HOUSE WITHOUT MASCARA EVER EVER. because I look like a hairless cat. And I've now gone out IN PUBLIC. TO FUNCTIONS. INCLUDING NEW YEAR'S EVE without any on. which makes my vain self weep).<br />
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I digress. Obviously, I tried to figure out all the things that could be making my poor body suffer this way. And in asking on our neighborhood facebook page, someone suggested we have our air conditioning ducts cleaned. So I set up the appointment- because Lord knows the previous owner was a hot mess and probably never had it done. And what did we discover?<br />
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MOLD. Mold all over and through our ac units, airducts, and vents. FRICKING. MOLD. And funny enough, you know what all those skin prick allergy tests showed? That I'm allergic to indoor mold. I'm in the fun 25% of the population who, when exposed to mold, instead of their bodies attacking the spores and making me healthy, my cells start attacking my other cells. Leading to crazy amounts of inflammation (hello unexplained inflammation found in my gut after a stool test- high levels are 100-200 and mine was 465), dizziness, headaches, lack of remembering things, lack of developing (hi from my almost 3 year old non talker). ALL OF IT.<br />
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I'm not gonna even get into many details- that's for another post, when I can address all the things we've done, and are still doing, to work this mold out- because we're still in the throws of making sure it's nowhere else in our house, and detoxing from the YEAR AND A HALF that mold spores blew down on us constantly. It's a long, and crazy expensive process. So yeah. looking forward to writing that post.<br />
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ANYWAYS.<br />
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I finally listened to my gut, and got little man blood tested for food allergies. He only poops once or twice a week, he's become really picky about food and fights eating, he has that red ring around his little butt hole, and he has patches of bumpy skin- not a rash or red, just raised. And we discovered that he is off the charts for gluten, wheat, bran, and really high for coconut, peanuts, eggs, chia seeds. You know. All the stuff he eats and bathes with. Perfect.<br />
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So, in the midst of evacuating our house a million times (mold, hurricanes, Thanksgiving....) we got an Instant Pot. Which has been A-MAAAAYYYYYY-ZING. And now, I get to figure out how to make all the things that boyfriend can eat.<br />
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So here is my first (intentional) gluten free meal- Osso Bucco. I, as usual, like to borrow recipes from my (in my head) friends at The Chew and The Food Network. (Yes I daydream about being besties with all of them, and being on The Chew and cooking with Michael Symon would complete my whole life- #squadgoals).<br />
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<a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/the-chew/recipes/veal-osso-bucco-michael-symon">Michael Symon's Osso Bucco</a>. It looked so amazing, but I was super feeling a more tomato based meal. So I stole some of his elements and added them with <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/the-chew/recipes/osso-bucco-pine-nut-gremolata-mario-batali">Mario Batali's Osso Buco</a>. (Side note: I have no idea why they are spelled differently. It's one of the things that drives me slightly batty about The Chew website. However, their recipes are always without a doubt the most delish way to cook food ever ever, so I forgive them).<br />
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So between that, and using my knowledge of how the IP works, I came up with this:<br />
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- a big hunk of pork butt (who even has the money for that much veal after Christmas? And pork is fattier- my fave). I used 4 pounds and cut in half to brown better<br />
- 1/4- 1/2 cup white wine<br />
- 1 jar (18 oz) whole peeled tomatoes<br />
- 1 cup bone broth<br />
- squirt of anchovy paste- literally a drop or two of it<br />
- 1 tbsp capers<br />
- 1 sweet onion (it's what I had), chopped up<br />
- handful baby carrots, cut in half<br />
- a few cloves of garlic<br />
- dried thyme, to taste (didn't have any fresh on hand)<br />
- 2 tbsps butter (always always always Kerrygold- it'll change your life)<br />
- extra virgin olive oil<br />
- zest of one lemon<br />
- 1 parmesan rind (cause I had it and it sounded good)<br />
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Before I tell you the steps I will say it was a hair more liquidy than I would've liked, so I might not add quite as much liquid as that. And as much as I super love chunky tomatoes in things like this, I think using crushed tomatoes might have served me better here, to spread out the tomato flavor throughout. I mean, it was DELISH. But everything can be improved on.<br />
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So I throw in some olive oil and brown up the salt and peppered pork. Then remove. Throw in a tad more oil and the butter and add my onions, carrots, a little more salt and pepper, and the thyme. Let it go for a few minutes then add in the garlic (here's my fun, <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/05/hummus-garlic-goodness-oh-my.html">garlic trick</a>, so it's always easily and readily available- it's the 2nd half of the post. and also a trick I learned on The Chew. Shocking), and the anchovy paste (usually sold near the tomato paste. and I don't like fish at all, but it does add a nice depth of flavor. a little bit goes a long way.) A little tomato paste at this point would also work really well if you felt so inclined. Let that cook for a minute, then throw in your white wine and deglaze- make sure to scrape all the good bits up off the bottom of the pan. There lies all your flavor. Add the bone broth and the tomatoes (Jovial is my favorite brand- tomatoes from Italy, organic, AND they don't add in any flavors. I LOATHE when every single stupid brand adds basil. WHY!?!? WHY DO THEY DO THIS!?!?). Zest your lemon right in there, then throw the pork, and all the juices that accumulated in whatever holding vessel it was in, and add the parmesan rind.<br />
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We decided to let this slow cook for about 6 hours while we were out. We came home and discovered that it was delicious, but not as fork tender as we would like. (that was at about hour 5). So we pressure cooked it for about 25 minutes. That did the trick.<br />
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Then I hit saute to get the sauce to thicken up a bit.<br />
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And made my polenta while waiting. I still make it on the stovetop. I have reservations about making it in the Instant Pot, because I like to control the thickness- I love a creamy polenta. Also, I only have one instant pot. So here's my no fail base for polenta/ grits. It's Robert Irvine's recipe, and it's always a winner-<br />
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1 cup bone broth (or stock)<br />
1/2 to 1 cup milk (or heavy cream)<br />
good hunk of butter (tbsp or 2)<br />
about 1/2 cup of fine ground corn meal (DON'T add all at once- I don't think I ever actually need that much).<br />
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I throw in the broth, milk and butter and bring to a gentle boil. Then I slowly slowly slowly whisk in corn meal little by little. It thickens up a lot as it cooks so when I say slowly, I mean about 1 or 2 tbsps at a time, whisk well for a minute or 2, then add a little more. Once you get it to the consistency you want, add in your salt and pepper, and any cheese you would like to use. For this, we used pecorino romano (you can get a giant hunk of the Locatelli one at Costco. SO GOOD.)<br />
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And then. Plate.<br />
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Unbelievably good.<br />
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So I hope that was helpful. I'm an Italian cook for sure- everything is "quanto basto" (to taste). So maybe writing recipes isn't really my forte. Ha!<br />
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Loves! <br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-45713502450829448172016-04-11T16:05:00.001-04:002016-04-11T19:19:44.056-04:00ALL THE FEELSSo this has been a long time coming. I have been SUCH a slacker about this blog. There have been a few times were I made something that was deliciously fantastic, and started to blog about it, and didn't get around to finishing. I just have not had it in me.<br />
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The scoop. Last April, while we were house hunting, I was ergo wearing my 1 year old. For at least 10 hours a day. While standing and looking at homes. On the plane ride home I noticed that my back was killing me and would not settle down. Our chiro tried working on it, but nothing was really helping. He said he thought it could be a disc issue....but then we moved to Charleston, and I started to see another chiro.<br />
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After about a month, my new chiro, Dr. Kukes of Elite Health solutions, said the same thing and I went for an MRI in early September. And what he said was "I have never seen an MRI this bad with the amount of flexibility and movement you have." Basically, it's because I have 2 toddlers and zero choices about being able to move around and function. I wasn't letting it effect my life. I was just pushing through the pain and doing what I needed to do.<br />
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With 3 bulging discs, but still able to walk, stand, and do life, I was doing all the natural things I could think of to fix the problem. I drank warm lemon, cayenne pepper, black pepper, & turmeric water every morning. I took 4 fish oils (omega 3's), 3 hemp oils, 2 BCQ supplements, and a raw vitamin d supplement to help stop inflammation. I did all the stretches I'm supposed to, I foam rolled, I stayed as active with walking as I could. I did acupuncture. I drank all the anti-inflammation smoothies. I did not, however, stop picking up my son. I also occasionally still stuck him in the ergo because desperate times and all. I did not stop DOING ALL THE THINGS, or even slow down doing them, because of pain.<br />
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By Christmas time, it was definitely not feeling great, but I thought since we were going up to Jersey for 2 weeks and the hubbs was off from work that I'd get a nice relaxing break- no cooking, no cleaning, help with running after the small one. I also got a super intense deep tissue massage right before we left. Christmas break was supposed to be my saving grace.<br />
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Instead- the massage made me a little achey. The tightness in my hip was apparently keeping everything in check. And the cold weather seeped into my bones, and I suddenly started to notice where they said my disc had completely degenerated in the form of a bone-deep, arthritic ache that nothing could touch. <br />
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The drive home was unpleasant. And during those 12 hours, hubbs and I discussed our plan forward for life. By the end of the Jersey trip, in order to stand up straight and walk, I had to lay down and stretch for at least 10 minutes. Even after I would just go to the bathroom- any kind of sitting meant I had to start all over again with the stretching to get me totally straight again. But once I got walking, I was fine. But we both decided that it wasn't really feasible to continue life with 2 active kiddos that way. And we agreed that perhaps now was the time to call in the hail mary and get the cortisone shot. We thought, just one and done, and I can continue to get my back into shape with exercise and supplements, but still be able to do all the things I need to do.<br />
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We make plans and God laughs.<br />
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I made an appt with the Spine Institute right down the road from my house. They saw me for about 15 minutes, looked at my MRI from September, told me I should get the shot, sent me downstairs for it, and in I went. I asked not to be sedated (which was just what they typically did). They gave me an IV in my arm "just in case" and sent me into a waiting area. It was all very assembly line like. The doctors administering the shot were joking about vacay time and stuck me in the back with a giant needle and sent me on my way. They said it could take up to 14 days to feel the effects so they would see me back in 2 weeks.<br />
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Enter my own personal hell.<br />
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It did not feel any different when I left. Which I thought was a little weird. But whatevs. That night was pretty bad, but I took some ibuprofen and was able to get a little sleep. The next day the shit hit the fan in a big way.<br />
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I was writhing on the floor in pain, after attempting to come down the stairs and make breakfast for my kiddos. Pretty sure I threw a bag of crackers at them, grabbed my phone and sobbed to the nurse. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. She said it was normal and she would have a prescription waiting for my hubbs to go pick up and fill.<br />
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It was, of course, for a pill that not only was NOT an anti-inflammatory, but also was not a great one for a nursing mamma- something I told them multiple times that I am. Awwwwwweeeeeeesome.<br />
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So I scoured our medicine cabinets and found a bottle of oxycodon from my c-section with baby boy. They were old, but it was almost full and I knew it was safe for nursing. So those kept me alive that week. I couldn't move. I could barely crawl out of bed to go to the bathroom, nursing positions were agony, sitting, standing, laying down- all of it were just the most pain I have ever been in. I would rather have a c-section EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK then go through that pain again. I called the nurse every day to tell her how bad it was and that I didn't think it was normal (and neither did any one else) but she said it was fine, and that if I was still nursing then I could just take ibuprofen. Super super helpful.<br />
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I went to my chiro in the hopes that he could do something, anything to help relieve the pain that the oxy was only taking the edge off of. I was literally bent over in half trying to walk into his office. He told me that my back was in such a severe spasm it was no wonder I was like that. He used a heating pad with moisture to try and relax the spasming. He had to do that 3 different times that week, and I finally bought one so I could do it at home. We also started using a TENS machine in the hopes that it would help tame the inflammation and spasming. I also bought one of those.<br />
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My acupuncturist tried to help as well, and it did for a bit, but this pain was ridiculous and would not be killed. Hubbs took the rest of the week to work from home so he could take care of the kids, and my mom flew down over the weekend, because it was pretty clear that I was unable to be at home alone.<br />
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The 2 week mark was approaching, and I went ahead and cut off any other appointments with the Spine Institute. It was pretty clear they had no interest in individual patients, and they didn't really know what they were doing, since they essentially paralyzed me for 2 weeks. The pain started to back off a bit, but there was no walking happening. There was barely standing. Sitting didn't feel that great either.<br />
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I scheduled an appt with back specialist Dr. Bright McConnell, but he's crazy busy (because he's amazing) so it took 2 weeks to get in to see him (and it was only that soon because of a cancellation in his schedule). In the meantime, I tried to do the TENS machine, and ice and use the moist heat whenever I could, and I tried desperately to get around, even though it was completely hunched over. I used the stroller to lean on as much as possible. And then I realized. I needed a cane.<br />
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That's right. Big old, blingy cane. And yes, I managed to go out for a girl's night because it had been almost 2 months of me laid up in my house and I wanted to get all pretty again. I, of course, did that sitting down (which drying your hair in bed is strangely relaxing). But I did it. I was not super prepared for the staring (or maybe I just thought people were staring) but whatevs. It is what it is. So I rolled with it.<br />
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And also. Yes. That is the absolute most I could stand straight up. And I was pushing it so I could get a decent picture. I was full queen of the tilt.<br />
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And I was still under the impression that this was an easy fix. I've known plenty of people who have bulging discs and they bounce back pretty quickly.<br />
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And then, the day before my first appointment with Dr. McConnell, I was sitting on the couch, and suddenly, everything from my hip down went all pins and needles. It felt like a waterfall inside my leg. I got up to go to the bathroom, and on the way back, I remembered what my mom had said about the heel and the toe test. If you can still walk on just your heels, and just your toes, then it's fine. So I tried it. And when I tried to walk on my toes, my whole foot rolled . Tried again. Same story. So I cried, and called my mom, who told me to call my chiro, who had me come in.<br />
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Turns out, I have nerve damage. I didn't have nearly as much feeling in my left foot and calf as I did on the right (couldn't really tell the difference between a sharp pokey thing and a dull one). This raised the stakes considerably. Because if I didn't get this crap worked out, and soon, I would probably have permanent nerve damage.<br />
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So I went to the doc and had some scary conversations and then was scheduled for another MRI. Apparently, everyone and their mother must be breaking themselves in Charleston, because between all of the Imaging places, the soonest they could get me in was 1 week. And then another almost full week to go back to the doc to talk about it. And yup. Between September and February, I had absolutely done more damage. My S1 was now invited to the party, not just L4 and L5. Thank you hip, for crapping out on me, too.<br />
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So we scheduled me to see Dr. Goltra, who is basically brilliant, and not only does he do cortisone shots, but he also is the guy that reads the MRI's to tell you what's going on. It took FOREVER to get in to see him (again- super popular and brilliant), but when the nurse heard I could barely walk, had 2 toddlers to take care of and it had been almost 2 full months of me being non-functional, she stuck me in a cancellation slot.<br />
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It, of course, was the week the hubbs got sent to Seattle for work. So my parents drove down to take care of me. Seriously...who can even live without them??? Filling my freezer with SO MUCH FOOD and taking care of the kids. Dropping their lives to help me out. They are just the best.<br />
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So in I go. And he tells me that I have a mild spinal stenosis. Which means my spinal column is too narrow, and over the years it gets more and more narrow. Which means, if I have bulging discs, it will affect my nerve a lot more quickly because it doesn't have very far to go. AWESOME. He also tells me that it is fully pushing on my nerve (cue foot falling asleep all the time, 2 toes that are constantly pins and needles, and peg leg if I try to walk for more than 10 minutes at a time). I stand up and turn around and he says that he can physically see that my nerve is swollen- and if he can see that through my clothes and skin it means I've REALLY managed to piss it off. It's no wonder I'm in this much pain, why on earth did I go to the Spine Institute, and he knows he'll be able to help. And also, NOT to go get surgery. He said "If anyone tells you you need surgery, you come talk to me."<br />
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And then he gives me 2 shots. One is the typical cortisone shot. The other he's putting basically directly on my nerve to tame it out, otherwise I'd never be able to do any sort of rehab on my back.<br />
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It works IMMEDIATELY. I can stand up straight. I walk to the car. Dad drives me home. I try and walk up the stairs. My leg is now complete jelly (I was warned this may happen) and Dad is behind me, trying to make sure I don't fall while I'm cracking up because no matter what I do, my leg refuses to listen to me. Novocaine of the leg for sure.<br />
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I make an appointment for 3 weeks later. I am told that I am still not to push it. No real walking, not too much standing. Basically what I've been doing for the past 2 months, to allow the shot to heal me. I *try* to listen, but let's face it, I don't. I mean, I kinda do, but I pushed it a bit. And I felt it.<br />
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So 3 weeks later, I get the 2 shots again. And I'm given the all clear to start physical therapy. Where I'm currently 2 weeks in. Doing traction and stretches. Not much else. Walking, with a stroller or some sort of support, until my foot starts to go numb (which is currently about 6 minutes). If the numbness is still occurring that means the nerve is still aggravated, which should be worked out by the traction after a while. And THEN I can FINALLY do strength training and yoga.<br />
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HOLY LORD it's been a loooooong process. The original shot from hell was mid January. It's now April, and I still can't do things like bring my kids anywhere by myself without doing some serious damage to my back. And yes. I've tried. BECAUSE I NEVER LEARN THINGS.<br />
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In the midst of all of this, my amazing friends sat me down (well, I was already sitting, wrapped up in my blanket because apparently I was now cold all the time as well), and they said "we know it's hard to accept help. But we're sistering you. And you have no choice. Just take it." Which is basically the best thing that anyone could ever say. Cause they're right. If they asked what they could have done for me, I would have said "Nothing. We're fine. But thank you." And then hubbs, who was doing all the things all the time, would've cheerfully choked me. But they didn't ask. They told. And they brought us meals. And they played with our kids. And they brought me chocolate and magazines. And they hung out in our driveway so that I wouldn't have to walk anywhere, just sit in my chair wrapped up in a blanket.<br />
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And I read a whole lot. And I realized a whole lot. I realized how very blessed we were to move into a community a few short months prior, and to have made such amazing friends, who were there when I was down for the count. Most of whom lived in my cul-de-sac. God put us exactly where we needed to be. I also realized that PERHAPS the reason we were in this mess is because I super super suck at accepting help, never mind trying to ask for it. Little Miss I-Can-Do-It-By-Myself learned some serious lessons in humility. And also, the beauty of leaning on your village.<br />
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There was a night when hubbs got some weird 24 hour pukey bug, and there was a crock pot of food sitting on our high countertop. I almost tried to reach up to put it in the fridge but realized that if I ever wanted to get better, I had to start acknowledging that I could no longer lift ALL THE THINGS. I texted my neighbor Kirsten for assistance. I admit, it was hard to ask for help. But she, and later, hubbs, both agreed that if I had tried to lift that crock pot, there may have been a throw down. And after she left, I realized I was a little proud of myself for finally reaching out. And I've tried to be good about it since then. Tried being the key word.<br />
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I'm just starting to get back into the kitchen. I'm not making any fancy pants things. I don't always make bread- sometimes I allow him to buy the organic fresh baked stuff from Whole Foods. Hubbs always has to help. And most of the time, I do as much as I can sitting down. We hired a cleaning crew to come every other week. I actually hired Kirsten's niece to watch the kiddos when I go to physical therapy. I mean, WHO EVEN AM I!?!?!<br />
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Most days, I'm ok with all of this. Some days, I feel like I'm failing at life since my whole job in life is to take care of the kids and the house. But I'm trying to give myself some grace. This is just a season, and keeping all the people alive is my job- the clean house and yummy food is a nice benefit for all. (Please see <a href="http://staymarriedblog.com/cleaning-up-is-not-my-destiny-how-your-marriage-benefits-when-you-share-the-load/">"Cleaning up is not my destiny"</a> by my brilliant friend, Michelle).<br />
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And maybe it's all the reading of all the books I've done (hello Jen Hatmaker, Shauna Niequist, Glennon Melton, and THE BIBLE)- but I'm noticing a softening of my heart. There's way less anger and rage. Way more compassion and grace. Which is interesting for this blog, as it's based on raging about all the ways I hate Monsanto and how our government is poisoning us. Which I still believe. I'm just not into yelling about it as much anymore. I'm trying more of a gentle nudge approach. So there's that. At some point there'll be a whole post on that. I've got other things on my mind currently...<br />
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So, yeah. You haven't heard from me in a while. And this is why. I'm still healing. I actually tried to write this post a month ago. I got a ways through it, and then my computer decided not to save it. And I was all done with that nonsense.<br />
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And also, this is a better place to leave it.<br />
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Taking this stuff one day at a time. Trying to find the humor. Hoping I haven't broken myself permanently. I'm not gonna win any awards by paralyzing myself trying to do it all alone.<br />
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I have really smart friends (near and far) who have gently beaten that into my skull. And I'm a slow learner, but I'm getting there.<br />
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Loves!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-52396189288500705432015-11-10T16:03:00.003-05:002015-11-10T16:03:43.900-05:00The Holding- a Toddler Poop Story Part 2Well. Those were the longest 2 years of my life. In case you didn't read <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2015/01/the-holding-toddler-poop-story.html">part 1</a>. In short, girlfriend started holding her poop after our trip to Disneyland (while I was about 20 weeks preggo with boyfriend) and I became a poop doula. Since we do everything as naturally as humanly possible, that meant there was no dosing her up with miralax. It meant using prune juice, flaxseed, and greens to make the poop soft, and if she held it for more than 3 days, getting in a hot soapy bath with epsom salts and coaxing her to push the largest poops in history out. We also recently found at Whole Foods a brand called Buddy Bear that has a "laxative" (it's just an amped up pruned juice, it doesn't actually force them to go) and one called "Digest" that we started using. Sometimes it meant getting in there and breaking it up a bit. And sometimes it meant enema. Any way you slice it, these were not good times for either of us.<br />
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It seemed that this past April we were finally finally over it. But we had a few relapses. When family came to visit, or we were out all day long, or the wind blew a certain way... And she absolutely refused to push them into a potty. Le sigh.<br />
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So I found a book. <br />
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Yup. This book. It actually used the idea of someone missing a family (we used Nemo since we were all about that movie). Percy the Poop wants to see his family that lives in the toilet bowl. We were obsessed with this book....but still no poop in the potty. UGH.<br />
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Enter Halloween. We trick or treated a little bit, and she did not ask to eat any of her chocolate. She just wanted a dum dum lollipop (because of course she wanted red dye and sugar nonsense. of course she did). She loved it. The next day, in Whole Foods, they had Halloween candy on sale. A huge bag of organic lollipops for 99 cents. So I bought it, since my ice cream, chocolate, buy anything she wanted motivation wasn't working at all. We got home. I said "Look I got you some lollipops, but you can only have one if you poop on the potty." She grabbed it, ran to the bathroom, and took a dump. ARE. YOU. FREAKING. KIDDING. ME.<br />
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So. yeah. We found the golden ticket. And she has gone on the potty every day since then. Just like that. Potty trained.<br />
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The most insane roller coaster of emotion finally coming to a close. A very happy 4 year old who loves to poop on the potty now (with or without a lollipop), and a mom who finally feels less judged about her older toddler in diapers, and a freedom from obsessively counting poops and praying there wouldn't be any scrubbing out the bath tub moments each week. Suddenly, we're over it.<br />
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It was a long journey FOR SURE. But honestly, I would rather take this journey than have filled her full of a laxative so that she couldn't trust her body to do what it needed to do. And who knows at the young age what that could do to a developing gut. Lord knows I have enough stomach issues (I was also a holder as a kid) and I'm just hoping this will result in a healthy gut and a healthy attitude about poop.<br />
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And also. She loves it when I draw Percy. She asked me to draw his brother. Then she drew his sister. I just super heart her.<br />
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Loves!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-34503184673005647522015-10-28T19:15:00.001-04:002015-10-28T19:15:30.309-04:00Nights in Morocco...or maybe just food from there...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Listen, I'd love to spend some nights in Morocco. But for now, we'll have to settle for the one in Epcot Center. Not so sure the 19 month old would fully appreciate all the nuances of different cultures, so we'll give it a few years before we start traveling internationally.<br />
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I digress.<br />
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Chicken thighs.<br />
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Honestly, I just super don't enjoy cooking chicken. Mainly because almost every time I do, the response I get from the hubbs (and myself if I'm honest) is "meh". I mean, it's tasty. But it's not like beef or bacon tasty. The poor chicken. Not enough fat. Not enough flavor. Everybody's diet food.<br />
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So I've been experimenting. And I happened upon a recipe for Moroccan chicken thighs and lentils. Score! I have a crap ton of lentils that I haven't ever used. And it calls for dried apricots. Score again! We have a bag of dried apricots.<br />
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Wait. Just opened the bag. Ummm....did you know that dried fruit can ferment? Well. It can. And it did. Good thing I have some yellow grapes on hand. Close enough.<br />
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So. <a href="http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1860/moroccanstyle-chicken-with-lentils">Here's the recipe I used as a base.</a> I changed a few things...because of course I did. So. For the rub for the meat, I didn't use garlic powder. I don't have any. As a rule, I super hate garlic powder. I'd rather go ahead and put the real stuff right in there. And with my <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/05/hummus-garlic-goodness-oh-my.html">roasted garlic trick, </a>it's easy peasy to use fresh garlic always. I also only used a portion of the cumin they say to. because I really don't care for cumin. I get that it's the base of so much of the food that I love....but I would rather taste the other stuff and cumin is SO STRONG. I also used smoked paprika. That stuff is amazing. And I was heavy handed with it. I threw in a little crushed red pepper as well for a kick.<br />
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I added whole peeled tomatoes (Jovial brand is my favorite- glass jars for the win!) I did not add ketchup. I just added a splash of red wine vinegar and some brown sugar. I probably should have added some tomato paste as well, but oh well. maybe next time. I was gonna add almonds too, but my brain is not firing on all cylinders. Whatevs, it's delish. <br />
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And finally, I only had green lentils. So that was it.<br />
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I rubbed the chicken, browned it, removed it, sauteed the onions, then added the lentils and gave them some nice color and flavor. Then I added the garlic, and then I added the liquid stuff. Then threw the chicken back in, brought it all to a boil, and threw it in the oven for about an hour and 15 minutes at 350. BOOM.<br />
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The browned chicken in a bowl, while the onions caramelize in the browned chicken goodness bits.<br />
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Pre-oven.<br />
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The smell in my house. Can't even explain.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2qxLfoI5K_p-sEfKsAOcLhFWCoFM9reKbVOdRhXEJ2HySyWkECaM9qNc0ThrQXF89hB9AvomrmG0_4nfhNsGhLrLlXYarE4pDQAoL-o4T8WLwVoT5qugU8Km55cMSCodEg-bxIGI6x4/s1600/mor1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2qxLfoI5K_p-sEfKsAOcLhFWCoFM9reKbVOdRhXEJ2HySyWkECaM9qNc0ThrQXF89hB9AvomrmG0_4nfhNsGhLrLlXYarE4pDQAoL-o4T8WLwVoT5qugU8Km55cMSCodEg-bxIGI6x4/s320/mor1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And now. Onto the flatbread. Yes the above recipe is gluten and dairy
free....so if you need that then you're all set. But me?? I prefer the
Moroccan way. Which is...use flatbread as utensil. YEEEESSSSSS.<br />
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<a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/26/nigel-slater-flatbread-recipes">Here's the flatbread recipe.</a> Other country's measuring units are dumb. The hardest part about this was figuring out how much of everything to add. And, since I make bread a lot in different places, I know you can't just add ALL the flour they say to. You have to add slowly as needed. <br />
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So. I started with 2 1/2 cups of flour, a little more than half a tablespoon of salt and yeast, 2 tablespoons of butter, and 1 1/3 cups of warm water. Then I added flour as needed until it developed a ball in the kitchenaid mixer. It ended up about 3 1/2 cups I think.<br />
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Follow the directions to let the dough rise. Then cut it into 12 and roll them out. Get a cast iron pan really really hot, add olive oil and go ahead and cook em up. It's ridiculous how good these are. I ate the first one with nothing on it. Just straight up ate it.<br />
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And the two together???<br />
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This meal is magical. No joke.<br />
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Perfect warm and cozy food. <br />
<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-85198779351625143152015-09-18T12:34:00.001-04:002015-09-18T12:34:03.420-04:00So this whole blogging thing...Apparently, I'm not very good at it. It was SO. MUCH. EASIER. with just one kiddo. That second one. MAN 2 kids is a time suck vortex. I have zero ideas how people with more than 2 even handle life. Kuddos. For reals.<br />
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Anyhow, this is basically a post just to say I'm still alive, sometimes just hanging on by a thread, but here. I'm still navigating our crunchy lifestyle in the south. I'm meeting new people and getting some really good info which I'm stoked about....cause Whole Foods for everything is getting a little boring. I need a little variety in my life.<br />
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I'm also posting a lot less on FB. Not intentionally.....well kinda intentionally. I'm trying to just maybe not be on social media as often. Although the beginning of September was girlfriend's birthday party, my birthday, parents visiting, and all sorts of fun shenanigans so OVERPOSTER for sure. But I'm trying to hold back a bit now. And outside of the food pics I've put up, it's been some fairly lame repeats for the past month. Still yummy, just not exciting picture worthy foods. I would love to get back to doing new things almost nightly and blogging about all my fun discoveries...but we live on this AMAZEBALLS cul-de-sac and right around 5pm, all the kiddos are home from various schools and the mammas are home and it is time to get our play on. That used to be primetime dinner prep, but you know? Chilling out is way more important. So I braise some stuff during boyfriend's nap (and let's be honest....braises don't photograph well), and that way I can hang. I hover right in between introvert and extrovert and after a full day with just the kidlets, I SUPER DESPERATELY NEED TO TALK TO LOGICAL BEINGS. FOR. THE. LOVE. Otherwise, I end up talking to the hubbs like he's a child, and that works out for no one.<br />
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So there's my litany of excuses of why I suck at blogging right now. And possibly for the foreseeable future. Although....light at the end of the tunnel- perhaps I can start sneaking away once boyfriend falls asleep and type a little. He loves to snuggle, but lately big sister has been his target, and I'm all in on that train. We shall see.<br />
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In the meantime, I've found a few life hacks that have been helping budget wise and "I just can't find it out here" wise. For starters, we get INCREDIBLE bacon. This bacon is life affirming. It's black forest bacon from whole foods. There's also some seriously delish hickory smoked bacon from Ted's Butcherblock. Both are thick cut goodness, and render out some serious fat. We pour it into mason jars and BAM. Lard. Because I cannot find organic lard. And I need it to make tortillas and carnitas and fry potatoes in and just in general I need lard in my life. Trying to use all of the animal and all. Totally worth it.<br />
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Also trying to heal from 3 bulging discs. Apparently, my son hit the tipping point of how much weight I could carry on my front for hours on end while standing around and I went and ruined my lower back and hips. Awesometastic. So I've been trying to naturally get rid of inflammation using food, stretching, and foam rolling instead of cortisone shots. I'm also getting regular massages from a massage therapist and gonna give acupuncture a go. Frankincense oil has been so fabulous to rub right where the pain is- way better than any OTC ibuprofens or muscle rubs. I've been taking BCQ supplements (Bromelain, Curcumin, and Quercetin). I'm adding a lot more turmeric into my diet as well (curcumin) but since bromelain is from pineapples and I'm allergic to them, I have to stick to these supplements. Also omega 3 fish oils and vitamin d for absorption. I'm also drinking bone broth. Not gonna lie- I do not love it. It's not horrible but I'd rather make food with it than just straight drink it. If all of this works to heal my back I'll write a more detailed post about it, since I have had a hard time finding info on it, but I know I don't want to just take a shot of something to make me feel better but that ultimately will weaken the ligaments and not promote the healing of these discs. Meanwhile, I'm trying to convince my son that strollers are awesome....he's currently not buying it.<br />
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I'm also reading a poop book. BECAUSE OF COURSE I AM. I thought we were all done with the holding back in April. It seemed we were completely on board to just poop when you have to poop. We even started holding back a bit with the prune juice. And then. Potty training. So girlfriend has known how to pee in the potty for a year and a half. She never goes over night, rarely has accidents in underwear, and loves to announce to people that she's a big girl and always pees and poos in the potty (which is just not accurate- she's pooped once in the potty). So there are days she asks to wear underwear. And on those days, she REFUSES to poop. Doesn't talk about it or anything. Just holds it in. And then, we're right back to me poop doula-ing it out of her after 2 or 3 days, sitting in the bathtub and cheerleading it on. UGH. No one enjoys this. And it's been 2 years now, so I'm just OFFICIALLY OVER IT.<br />
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So I bought the book "It's No Accident- Breakthrough solutions to your child's wetting, constipation, uti's, and other potty problems" by Steve Hodges. Not gonna lie. Don't love his love for miralax. But he does have a lot of good advice in this book, and insight. And I am totally gonna do an enema on girlfriend because I have a feeling if we x-rayed her we'd find a pretty good sized poop mass. I'm hoping we can clear her out, and then get a fresh start with the pooping and the potty training- leaving out the miralax and keeping things soft with more fiber and more prune juice. It's just all a work in progress right now.<br />
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So yeah. That's where I'm at. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BDd0XseGtU">everything comes down to poo.</a><br />
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loves!! <br />
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Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-22993411154552549142015-08-28T14:32:00.001-04:002016-09-01T15:21:50.819-04:00CHERRY. FLIPPING. MAZURKAS. or, how my life got infinitely better with 1 biteI wondered around my whole life. Thinking I knew exactly what my favorite dessert was. Knowing there was a song about it. (pretty sure that's about something else ENTIRELY, but didn't know any better in middle school). My very favoritest pie. Cherry. Nothing was better. It was red and sweet and tart and amazing and heavenly and it wasn't always available but when it was. BAM. Game on. Love love love.<br />
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When we hopped on the real foods train, I thought I'd have to leave it for good. We don't eat processed nonsense out of a can, and the only cherry pies I had ever had were processed cherries out of a can. Do not ask me why I did not think to just buy cherries and make the filling myself. I just didn't. Leave me alone.<br />
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And then, yesterday, I was happily scrolling along my instagram feed, when <a href="http://www.shaunaniequist.com/">Shauna Niequist</a> posted a pic of some cherry mazurkas she made. Mazurkas?? What the heck is that? And did she say cherry??? And also- WOMAN POST THE RECIPE!!<br />
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<a href="http://m.allrecipes.com/recipe/233625/raspberry-mazurkas/?mxt=t06rda">Raspberry Mazurka</a> is one of the only recipes I could find that looked even similar to Shauna's, and another commenter posted that recipe and said she really liked that one. Shauna said that one looked better than hers and so. I got to baking.<br />
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It just so happens that on a recent jaunt to Costco I grabbed a huge frozen bag of organic cherries. Pitted and everything (WOOHOO LESS WORK!). However, I didn't notice that they were sweet and not tart cherries. So I threw about half the bag in a pot with some lemon zest (because when making fruity compotey things ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS add lemon zest and juice. trust me. and Carla Hall, cause that's totally her jam. literally.) And I added just a teeny bit of sugar. Make it to your taste and you can't go wrong.<br />
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Put em on a low heat and let em simmer and break down, and you can help it along with a potato masher. I like a chunky jam so I don't need to smash that much. Then at the end add a little cornstarch to thicken it up a bit. (organic please- non organic corn is full of nasty).<br />
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I probably could've eaten the entire pot. But I didn't.<br />
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Meanwhile, get your crust together. I used the raspberry mazurka as a base recipe above but tweeked it a bit. I needed to use 1 1/2 cups of melted butter to get the consistency I wanted. And I threw in a little salt for good measure because I used raw, unsalted walnuts. I also was a leeeetle short on coconut flakes, but that didn't seem to matter because it's still perfection. And grease the pan with melted butter. Because just through away your "cooking spray". Nonsensical garbage. It made WAY too much. I used the size baking pan she suggested, and I STILL had enough to make a mini mazurka to freeze for sometime this fall when I'm lazy and want pie. (they say it's like a granola bar, but that's straight up nonsense. This is like the most fantastic form of a pie ever).<br />
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Lay down the crust (similar to a cheesecake crust, the way you need to compact it. I let it ride up the edges of the pan so that the cherries didn't all dribble out the sides. Then sprinkle the layer over the top and lightly pat that. I like the top a bit crumbly so no need for compaction there.<br />
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Had I not been bombarded with tiny people, this would have taken about 20 to 30 minutes to prep. Alas, that is never the case when I'm in the kitchen. And I have a tendancy to royally screw up new recipes by not reading correctly and being generally brainless, so I took my sweet time. About an hour.<br />
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Then you throw it in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes at 350 degrees. And then you're supposed to wait an agonizingly long time for it to cool before you cut it. I of course did not wait. Because warm baked goods.<br />
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SO. GOOD.<br />
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loves!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-77898578102494799312015-07-22T12:06:00.001-04:002015-07-22T12:07:03.486-04:00Beach Living. Or, How I got back to meWell. I've lived in South Carolina now for a little more than a month. We're still working through the busyness- busyness of getting the house finished, of making friends, of exploring our new community, of getting our kiddos used to this heat. Our days are swallowed up in busy. And trying to ensure I'm not resorting to the "go watch a movie while mamma finishes her to do list" mantra which has been the story of our lives since mid April. Moving with small people is HARD y'all.<br />
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And amid all of that. Amid the daily and the busy and the fun and the WORK (for the LOVE all the work). It seems as though I'm finding me again.<br />
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It's a bit weird, this discovery. Mainly because I didn't know I was lost. <br />
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I know for sure that moving to Seattle from the Jersey Shore was scary huge terrifying something I had never planned on ever. Doing that one week after getting married did not help matters. All the big scary coming at me- complete career change, zero amounts of family or friends in our first home, dealing with this person who I thought I knew but now that I lived with realized was going to take some serious work to get along with. Not to mention that he spent at least half of the first year of our marriage on business trips to California. So. Yeah. Not super easy. No sunshine, no friends, no family, a job at Boeing (anyone that knew me in high school is going "WHAT THE HELL???"). And then my health started to fall apart. All in the space of a year.<br />
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I obviously worked it out. I made friends, found a fabulous church, figured out the <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/04/the-story-of-how-i-got-like-this-aka.html">health thing</a>, learned how to live with a traveling hubbs, mastered life in general.... After <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/05/are-you-still-nursing-and-other.html">girlfriend's arrival</a>, I knew I found my calling as a stay at home mamma. It just felt right, after a long time of feeling wrong. And as she settled into her toddler years, I felt like I was getting a me back that I hadn't seen in eons. I took her to her first concert- Indigo Girls at the Woodland Park Zoo. We went everywhere together. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I finally felt like I was rocking this mommy gig.<br />
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<a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/10/hey-look-im-alive-or-why-i-suck-at.html">And then I discovered I was pregnant.</a> Which for most normal people would have been fabulous. For me? I freaked out. And got pissed. And freaked out some more. I was only going to have one. My body clearly showed me that it was not capable of bringing life into this world like a normal body and so I wasn't going to tempt fate. I wasn't going to put myself through being terrified for, well for however long my body decided it would be pregnant this time, and then what if it didn't work out well this time? I was a hot mess. And the hot mess ness did not stop once I had our little man. It took a really long time to stop crying all the time. To really fully embrace the beauty of two kiddos, instead of just going through the motions. To not be so damned frustrated about having to do all of it without the help of family around. That was probably the hardest. I loved the community and family we built out there...but we also lived 40 minutes away from our church, and pretty far away from most of our community. And I super suck at asking for help. I also super suck at accepting help that's offered even when I don't ask. (Please don't ask the hubbs about the ridiculous "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TURN DOWN OFFERS OF PEOPLE MAKING US FOOD" argument of 2014. He had a point. Food after new baby was born would have been nice. I super suck.)<br />
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So. Here we are. Almost 16 months after boyfriend was born. Almost 3 years since we were originally supposed to move to Charleston. The kiddos and I miss our buddies in Washington desperately, but are adjusting really well to life in the sun and water. My body hasn't felt this good in decades! My allergies are gone, my stomach has WAY less flair ups than it used to, and without dieting or exercise (because for reals, who's working out in 95 degrees??) I'm down to the weight I was when I met hubbs. I never in my life thought I would see the numbers on the scale this low. I was 22 when I met him. That's just crazy sauce.<br />
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And every day, more me sneaks in. The tanner I get, the more Jersey I re-become. The me that drank 15 cups of coffee a day. The me with natural blonde throughout her summer hair. The me that wears bathing suits as outfits. And is constantly barefoot. The one that drives like this:<br />
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At my heaviest (and sickest)- I don't even have pics of that. Here's one that's pretty close to my heaviest...one of the few full body shots that I have. It looked, and felt, like I was swallowed up by someone else.<br />
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And it's not ALL about the weight. But it's a little about it. Because it was something I was obsessed with for such a long time. I didn't recognize that person. I didn't feel like me. But man, that Disneyland castle is pretty...<br />
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And here we are, hitting up the Sullivan's Island beach for the first time! <br />
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But THIS. This is me. Sun and sand and salt water run through these veins. The smell of Hawaiian Tropic is nostalgia (no. I do not use that stuff anymore. It's complete garbage. But that smell....that's my teenage years). Beach hair. Barefoot. Sand between my toes. Driving to the ocean at night to breathe in the salty air and read a book with a nice cup of coffee. That's me. (I'm still waiting to get that one back. Pretty sure I'm gonna need a few years for that to happen....)<br />
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I find it a little disconcerting that my living location plays SUCH a huge role in my self-concept. I kinda thought I got over that after picking up everything I ever knew and loved and moved 3,000 miles away. I guess I'm not the tower of unshakeability that I thought I was. But it's truth. And with 37 creeping up on me, I'm glad to be discovering this now.<br />
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Word.<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-37331463937282084352015-06-26T12:11:00.002-04:002015-06-26T12:11:52.619-04:00Going up the country (or across and down it, whatever)So. We're alive. We made it. 9 days in the car. 2 1/2 weeks of hotel living. 2 adults. 2 toddlers. It's time to stop being polite, and start being real...<br />
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Ok, maybe not that last part. (and let's be honest, that show has been solid crap for many seasons now.)<br />
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For starters, we finally got to celebrate this nugget turning one, along with having a see ya later Seattle peeps party. That was a rough day. I held it together mostly, til everyone left. Then I ugly cried for a few hours.<br />
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And 2 short days later, the movers came to pack up all of our stuff. ALL. OUR. STUFF.<br />
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The biggest moving truck I have ever seen ever. Shit just got real.<br />
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And of course, there was ridiculousness and nonsense all around. Both kidlets spiked high fevers. Like 105 fevers. Because of course they did. They never really get sick. And NEVER get fevers. So now seemed the perfect time. And hubbs decided that he needed to go see a movie with his boys. Leaving me with 2 sick kids, no TV, crappy take out food, and no where to hang except our very hot, very non-curtained bedroom. Where the sunshine poured in until 10 pm, and the men building crates for our fragile stuff labored directly outside until 9:30 pm. Sleep didn't happen. But lots of colorful phone conversations and texts did until daddy came home....<br />
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And then it was May 20th. the day we drove away, getting a much later start than anticipated (8 pm until the movers were completely finished).<br />
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The house we called home for 7 1/2 years. The city we called home for 9 1/2 years. The family and community we built. The crunchy granola family we became. The NICU that housed girlfriend for 2 months. The church that forever changed and sculpted my faith. The company that finally sent us back to the east coast. The doctors who talked me down from ledge after ledge while pregnant and terrified with little man. The friends I could not have done life without. Leaving was one of the most difficult things we've ever done.<br />
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We became mommies together. There are no words for how much I desperately miss these girls. And their sweet nuggets. It's chaos and madness and crying and laughing and tantrums, and then there's the kids.... Playdates were a saving grace. Rare nights out without the kiddos were just laughter. The mass Bachelorette texts, the oversharing, the insane amounts of laughter. Good for my soul.<br />
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The amazing <a href="http://amychengphoto.blogspot.com/">Amy Cheng</a> took these pics. They were my going away present. Best. Present. Ever. And I have no idea how Amy was able to get any shots at all when we are all ridiculous and couldn't hold it together...<br />
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And also....can we just talk about these kidlets....<br />
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The world's greatest picture. There was perhaps 20% cooperation. And then full on terrorized screaming. Parenting in all it's messy glory.<br />
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And then these sweet friends. The oldest of the bunch, who finally figured out how to play together and not just next to each other. Girlfriend misses her buddies every day. That hug kills me.<br />
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So....I'm gonna need a minute. Sobbing into my keyboard.<br />
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Regroup. K. So roadtrip.<br />
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Hubbs did an amazing job breaking it down. We only had to drive about 4 or 5 hours total each day...except the one hellish nightmare that was Denver to Kansas City. UGH. it pretty much highlights all that is wrong with the midwest. Kansas. STEP. IT. UP. For the love. You've got a pretty famous movie to work with. Make some interesting signage OR SOMETHING. That day nearly killed us. Not to mention the ridiculous storm we drove through. But I get ahead of myself....<br />
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This was our car. Pretty full. And also? In order to nurse/ entertain the kidlets, I had to squeeze myself in front of that Full Circle bag. In approximately 1 inch of space. Because in this family, we don't pull over to tend to crying hungry babes. Mamma whips it out while we're driving and everyone on the highway gets a show. Woot! Side note: THANK GOD FOR DVD PLAYERS IN THE CAR. The end.<br />
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Knowing that our organic options would be limited at best, I made some loaves of bread, some jelly, some snacks, and then we stocked up on organic snacks and easily portable food for the trip. The above is the "great idea" hubbs had for protection AND food prep. Cutting a loaf of sandwich bread with a machete is pretty bad ass. And no, I was not allowed to touch it. I'm missing enough tips of fingers as it is...<br />
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And these guys saved my butt (except in the mountains. elevation/ motion sick is of the devil, and I had to resort to the big guns- aka bonine- in order to not hurl everywhere). The best part about these are the lack of coma induced when you take them. I was actually wide eyed and clear headed for travel. Which has never ever happened before in the history of ever. It was kind of nice. Although maybe not for hubbs, as he was not allowed to listen to his garbage music when I was awake, which was all of the time.<br />
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So Oregon. Idaho. Utah. All pretty whatever until we got to Salt Lake City, which is really pretty. Not many pics taken. Just kind of thanking God the kids were doing so well both in AND out of the car and praying it stayed that way for the entire trip.<br />
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Please note. I have a gift for picking fantastic restaurants. I do a teeny bit of looking around on-line, and without fail, the places I chose were some of the best food we've eaten. Someone should hire me.<br />
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Anyway. At this point all of the places are kind of blending together. I think Colorado was after Utah.<br />
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The red mountains were so pretty and we got out and "hiked" a little bit. Yes, we do dress like that for road trips. We are beyond ridiculous. I'm aware. Girlfriend loved "climbing the mountains". In her cowboy boots. <br /><br />
It was beautiful, but I don't know if I'll ever go back. The elevation killed me. KILLED. ME. I was nauseous and green for pretty much the entire time we were outside of the car and above 8,000 feet. We stopped in Aspen because we heard it's pretty. And it really was gorgeous. Although we had no idea we were taking a gondola to over 11,000 feet elevation. Oopsie. And then, to save time, instead of going back the way we came and take the highway, hubbs decided to take a nice scenic drive through the mountains. Which was fine, until we stopped so I could pee. The minute I stepped outside of the car, IT. WAS. ON. I spent the next few hours in the front seat, crying and rocking and trying not to puke all over myself, while still trying to appreciate the beauty around us.<br />
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A pic I managed to get to try to take my mind off the fact that my insides were trying to murder me.<br />
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It was snowing and hailing which actually looked magical, like we were driving through Santa's workshop. But how the hell people live here is beyond me. I'm sure you get used to it. But I'm not testing that theory, thankyouverymuch.<br />
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So we stayed the night in Denver, got to meet up with a friend and have some fabulous Mexican food, because again, I rock at that. Then we visited Dinosaur Ridge, which for girlfriend just might have been the greatest thing ever invented. While mommy cried on the inside from nausea plus heat.<br />
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And finally, it was time for the day we'd been dreading. The 8 to 9 hour drive from Denver to Kansas City. We kept getting those loud beepy emergency warnings of flash floods and tornadoes on our phones. Which just added to the pure joy of that drive. They are not kidding when they say there's NOTHING on that stretch. And the kids were not super enjoying that long of a car trip. And we decided that since she's not in any kind of a rush to potty train (you can read all about our issues with holding <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2015/01/the-holding-toddler-poop-story.html">here</a>), even though she is fully capable of using the toilet, we figured we'd make it work to our advantage and have her in diapers for this road trip. Because no one wants to try to find a place to wash out a car seat on the road. Or clean-ish public restrooms.<br />
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So that backfired. Because girlfriend, although in diapers, refuses to be seated to do her business. So. Everytime she had to go to the bathroom, she would tell us "I have to poop and pee please get me out of the car seat". PERFECT. And of course, the ask became urgent pleas as we're driving through a monsoon in a place that has ZERO rest stops, or any shoulder to pull onto. Have you ever tried explaining to a toddler that we just can't stop the car right now as she's SCREECHING that her tummy hurts cause she has to poop?? And the holding. DEAR LORD THE HOLDING I DON'T WANT THE HOLDING TO COME BACK. So. Yeah. That was just a good time.<br />
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Also. Kanorado?? We couldn't come up with a slightly more original name than that for the border town between Kansas and Colorado? Really??<br />
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I'm still working on deleting that whole day from memory.<br />
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We did eventually get to Kansas City, and then St. Louis. I had some music nerdy fun using song lyrics to announce our arrival into all of the cities on facebook. I'm positive that did not get old at all.<br />
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We went up the arch, because I thought why NOT subject myself to more heights and small spaces and motion sick? It was worth the experience. I won't be doing that again either.<br />
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And then we FINALLY got to NASHVILLE! My brother lived there for a few years, and I loved it. By far my favorite city on our road trip. We didn't get to spend as much time there as I would have liked, but our hotel was ON POINT.<br />
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I mean. Look at the bathroom. 'nough said.<br />
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And once again, my restaurant choice was amazing. We wandered by a place called The Stillery. It had just opened that week. My prediction is you will need reservations to get in there in the very near future. The food was outstanding- my first experience with hot chicken and I'm now hooked. And their mason jar cocktails. I wish I had a tolerance because hubbs' drink was SO. DAMNED. GOOD.<br />
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We unfortunately didn't get to take the kids to any of the music or wax museums, but I know we'll be back for a vacay there at some point. Because Tennessee houses Dollywood, which might just be one of my fave theme parks of all time. My family went the very first weekend it opened. We were 6 feet away from Dolly Parton, 2 feet away from her chest. Along with Burt Reynolds, Lily Tomlin, a whole cast of amazing people which probably helped the whole magical experience....we'll see how it pans out as an adult. <br />
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The next morning, I found the world's best breakfast place.<br />
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Used to be a food truck. Now a restaurant. Biscuit Love. Just do it. Just go there and eat breakfast. Then come visit us. And on your way, hit up the Lookout Mountain Incline Railway. Because if you've never gone a mile up a mountain at a 73% incline, you should poop your pants today!<br />
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Our last night of the trip was spent in Atlanta. In a cruel twist of fate, that weekend Atlanta hosted a Food and Wine event that we couldn't go to. And. Since the city was crazy busy, we could only order dinner from a place in walking distance. We got soul food! Except. It was not good. And girlfriend spent the night puking....in the bed. And guess what hotels DON'T do at midnight? They DO NOT remake the bed for you, or remove the puke soaked sheets. We simply got to roll those up and put them in the shower, to house the stank for the night, and were handed a few new sheets. So that was awesome.<br />
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And the next day, we were finally off to Charleston. A little weary. Running low on sleep and underwear. But only a few hours of driving left.<br />
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And so began our week and a half stay at a hotel before we closed on the house and got our furniture. And surprise surprise, we all got sick.<br />
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I think it's safe to say our bodies were a little run down. Along with our ability to eat any more take out. Although we lasted a lot longer by sticking to as many restaurants as possible that used local, sometimes organic, ingredients. A few Charleston faves we discovered during our hotel stay: Crave, <span class="style49">Saveurs du Monde Cafe (crepes and french pastries and the most amazing espresso), Opal, and Verde. And of course Whole Foods. </span><br />
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<span class="style49">So what did we learn from our excessively long road trip? Well. We learned that our kiddos are pretty amazing at traveling, which is nice to know. We learned that the midwest is not really somewhere we ever need to go back to. And that you are probably not going to find many non chain, organic options in the midwest. (We were forced to eat Sonic for lunch. We won't be making that mistake again any time soon). We learned that we were spoiled rotten to be able to stay at Marriotts the entire way because a friend gave us her friends and family discount saving us ridiculous amounts of money, and allowing us a bit of luxury on the road every night. </span><br />
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<span class="style49">Also. It's a LOT easier to take a road trip when you know you don't have to drive back. </span><br />
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<span class="style49">Eventually, I'll post all about our adventures in our new house! But this post is already stupid long.</span><br />
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<span class="style49">loves!</span><br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-50334206850182538262015-06-24T15:21:00.005-04:002015-06-24T15:21:47.760-04:00Long time goneWe just got the internet. Last night.<br />
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We closed on this house on June 3rd. Yet somehow, we JUST GOT THE INTERNET.<br />
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Do you know how hard it is to look recipes up on-line using only your phone??? (hash tag first world problems).<br />
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For reals.<br />
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Anyway, when I get a half second, I'll be sure to keep you all entertained with the story of our 2 week car trip across the country (spoiler: it was actually enjoyable!!).<br />
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Til then, I'll be cooking and (hopefully posting) soon!<br />
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loves!Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-91940303336635191422015-05-04T01:34:00.000-04:002015-05-04T01:34:34.184-04:00The one where we move across the countryYup. It's finally happening. We're packing up this crazy and heading back east. Charleston, SC to be specific. This is a move that has been 2+ years in the making. The last time we talked about it here was when I announced we weren't moving like we thought, AND I was pregnant with little man...the double shock that had me reeling for quite a while.<br />
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But it's here now. And don't get me wrong. It would have been hard to move then. But now?? Now, it seems impossible.<br />
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It's impossible that I'm moving my tribe. Away from my people. Away from their playmates. Away from my playmates. Away from our church family. It's impossible, and it's happening. And it's getting a little too real in here for my liking...<br />
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I know this is the plan for our family. We were sent down to SC for a house hunting trip. While we were there, our house here went on the market. We found, and put an offer on a house in a fabulous part of Mt. Pleasant. Where we met the neighbors. Who just moved in 2 weeks ago and have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. And the house was $50,000 under our budget. And we can build a tree house in the backyard. And while we were doing all that? We got 2 list price offers on our house. 2. And ended up getting more than asking price.And every. single. devotional I've done has been about change, and God's timing, and affirming that this is the right move for us.<br />
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But it's not making things easier for me.<br />
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The idea of being so close to our family in Jersey? That makes me leap for joy. A car ride, and not a 6 hour plane ride. The same time zone. If needed, an hour and a half plane trip. Especially as little man is hitting that lovely age where he hates sitting still and can't be entertained for more than 20 minutes at a time. The ability to host Thanksgiving for my family at MY HOUSE. All of that is so exciting.<br />
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Not exciting? Finding all new playmates for my kidlets. Finding another tribe to do coffee and parks and venting and leaving the kiddos in a room and letting them fend for themselves and life together with. That's gonna take time. And I'm not a patient woman. Also? I suuuuuuuuuuuuuck at making friends. Super suck at it. Like, I bought 2 books on HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS. because I'm lame. (the one I read already is amazeballs- "Women are Scary" by Melanie Dale. It's like she jumped in my brain and wrote about it.)<br />
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Momlationships- I love having them. I'm scared shitless making them. I suffer from the "I'm so not cool enough to go and talk to her because why on earth would SHE want to talk to me? I'm such a nerd." Combine that with my bitchy resting face and you have a recipe for disaster. People end up thinking I'm a total snob. I'm also uber awkward, snort laugh, and loudly over share. ALWAYS. Wanna be my friend??<br />
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And there's something a little bit magical about my tribe here. A lot a bit magical. I'm not trying to kid myself into thinking this will be recreated somewhere else. And it makes my heart hurt. I can't really think about it, because I just go straight into ugly cry. Typically, the hubbs gets to deal with the hiccuping sobs that hit me if I start to think or talk about leaving too much.<br />
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And in the meantime? While I should be getting to spend as much time as possible with people that I love....I got sick. Then the kidlets got sick. Girlfriend got a fever for the 2nd time ever....It lasted for A WEEK and got up to 105 for 2 nights. WWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTT????? Are you kidding me? I get it. We're stressed, we dealt with time change, crazy all day outings looking for houses, being on airplanes, eating craptastic food. But COME ON. we basically hunkered down in our house for 2 weeks. Except when the home inspection was done on our house. When I took two sick kiddos out of bed and drove them around for THREE HOURS. Cause I'm sure that helped them feel better. Timing and all.<br />
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And now we have, as a friend so eloquently put it, 17 fucking days left. 17. Days. It's just. I'm ready. I'm ready to not live in limbo. To get into this new house and make it our own. To feel like we can get back to some sort of routine instead of the "throw the kids in front of a movie so mommy and daddy can get done the 74 thousand things we need to do before we leave". I'm ready for that.<br />
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I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to not have regular playdates. I'm not ready to be the new girl in town. To have the new kids in town. To have to explain how we roll to new people. I'm not ready and I'm a little scared and I'm a lot sad and all the feelings. I'M ALL THE FEELINGS.<br />
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And I have to learn to be granola in a new place. A place where they are WAY behind in the organic movement. Not to mention our alternative vaccine schedules, holistic approach to meds, and favoring a naturopath over a pediatrician. Not sure that will be widely accepted. But we're moving in, crunchy guns blazing. <br />
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It's been a while. And this is why. The meals have been basic repeats, when we have time to cook. I've gotten real pissy about lots of goings on. But I can't find a second to write about it.<br />
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And so that's what's up here.<br />
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I'm sure our 2 WEEK CAR TRIP ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH A 1 AND 3 1/2 YEAR OLD will give me some blog fodder. <br />
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loves!Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-14074755292929872112015-03-20T02:37:00.000-04:002015-03-20T02:37:27.785-04:00Mammarazzi gone stalker...Well, it seems that the hubbs may be correct. I *might* be a bit of a stalker.<br />
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Seems I'm obsessed. Completely, utterly OBSESSED with taking pics of my fam while they sleep. And not just the kiddos. Hubbs is in on this action too.<br />
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I cannot help it that they are all adorable as they sleep. This is clearly not my fault. And so, I document.<br />
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It started innocently enough. I mean. Look at them. all snuggled up together. On me. Adorable!<br />
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And they just kept it up. The napping on mamma. All the cuteness.<br />
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And then they conked out on daddy. While daddy conked out. Come on!<br />
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And then my little no napper and her only-naps-on-mamma brother fell asleep in the afternoon. at the same time. in bed. without me. and there was much rejoicing. and then it never happened again.<br />
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but then, at night, they started gravitating towards each other. I will admit, the crossing of her arms over her chest makes this pic exceptionally creepy. the filter is not helping matters. yet I soldier on for the perfect stalking shot.<br />
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And then, all the absolutely exhausted happened to everyone. except mommy. who was utterly exhausted, yet 100% awake. because mom.<br />
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and these two. of COURSE there's stalking.<br />
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just. melting.<br />
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and this face. I get to stare at this sweet face every. night. because blessed.<br />
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and then, date night. our kiddos sleep "praise Jesus" style. we watch movies. win win.<br />
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Stalker indeed.<br />
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soon enough, they won't want to snuggle with us. soon enough, this bed will go back to just 2. for now, I'll keep on mammarazzing my way through our nights.<br />
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loves!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-15809003119663362582015-03-16T02:37:00.000-04:002015-05-04T02:09:55.273-04:00My Awesometastic Guide to Lazy ParentingDisclaimer: I am (clearly) not a parenting expert. I have, however, found that what we did, and do, works REAL well for us, so I thought I'd share. And also, lazy. So YES.<br />
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I am not indicting your parenting style. You do you. Whatever works in this crazy game of parenting.<br />
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So. I've been thinking of writing this blog for some time now. Because I seem to end up in convos where someone asks me why I've done what I've done with my kiddos, and typically my answer is "I'm lazy". And I gotta say, the laziness has TOTALLY worked for my fam. Worked better than I ever imagined it would, quite honestly.<br />
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So here's the scoop. We had every intention of being "normal" parents- bought the crib, set up the room, had all the typical parenting books ready, bottles in the cupboard, breast pump purchased, the whole nine. Then, <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/05/are-you-still-nursing-and-other.html">this happened.</a> Babygirl showed up at 29 weeks. All 2 lbs 10 oz of her. And in a flash, everything changed. I had 2 months in the NICU- 2 months where all I did was sit in a recliner and hold this very tiny person skin to skin. And while I did that, I read. A. LOT. It started with the kangaroo care (skin to skin) and from there, I entered into the world of attachment parenting. I had never heard of it, but it became clear pretty quickly that, ready or not, this would have to be our parenting style. Lucky for us, we fell head over heels in love with our daughter, and with this style.<br />
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I was terrified to put her in a crib to sleep- getting to watch your child stop breathing and need oxygen from a tank blown into her face a few times will do that to you. In the NICU, the nurses were kind enough to "not notice" that babygirl slept through most of the night on my chest. Her vitals were always best that way. And we continued the trend when we came home. There was just no way I was putting her down for sleep. Neither of us would get any sleep if I did that. She slept on my chest, nursed when she woke and was hungry, and we both drifted easily back to sleep. For the first 2 1/2 years of her life. Then I got pregnant, and at 28 weeks, my supply completely dried up, so the co sleeping continues, just not the nursing her. And now we're joined by our little man, who is just about a year old. Although his entrance into this world was no drama, I still just couldn't bring myself to put him in a crib. So we have our little family in our big king bed, and we love it. <br />
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So here's the lazy: we have zero amounts of bedtime routines, except prayers. Occasionally, there'll be a bath. Sometimes a book, depending on what time we manage to get upstairs (daddy has to work late a lot so dinner happens on the later side most days). We change into jammies, we giggle, we snuggle, and within about 15 minutes, both kiddos are out. Ok, both kiddos and daddy, who gets up at ass o'clock for work. No screaming, no crying, no asking for water, no "get back into bed". Just a really nice, relaxing, cuddle fest. And that leaves mommy free to watch all the garbage television she can get on Hulu and Netflix, or read a book (my nightstand is well stocked with books, nightlights, snacks, remotes, and my phone. always be prepared). <br />
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This works on so many levels for us. Obvs, because we're lazy. Also, because we travel a ridiculous amount. Whether it be because the entire family decides to join daddy in California on a work trip for 3 weeks, or because we're constantly flying back and forth from here to Jersey to see our families. We spend an inordinate amount of time sleeping somewhere besides home. And not a pack and play, travel bassinet, extra bed/ room is needed. No packing all the extra things. No special blankies or stuffies, sometimes not even pj's (we generate a LOT of body heat between all of us). No hard nights cause the kiddos are somewhere new. Not even an issue with time changes, which amazes me. No settling back in to our "bedtime routine", or lack there of. Lazy. And awesome.<br />
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So. Bottles. When girlfriend was in the NICU, she was too tiny to eat. So for the longest time, they fed her through a tube up her nose. Around 33 weeks, we gave feeding her a try. They told us that bottles are easiest for their little jaws, so we would try that. And that if we wanted it right from the breast, expect to be in the NICU for a longer amount of time. She took a bottle fairly well, but didn't seem to like it so much (she had been latching on to my nipple since I started holding her, but not able to suck). So we got the first bottle out of the way, and I announced that that would be her last bottle until she was also able to nurse. Thank God for lactation specialists. They clued me into this amazing thing called a nipple shield, and girlfriend took full feeds immediately. Like, doctors were pretty amazed she was nursing so well immediately. And so, the bottles went bye bye. Cause I had had almost 2 solid months of nothing but pumping and I. WAS. OVER. IT. All the suction, and the cleaning, and the feeling like a cow, and the stretched out nips, and the cleaning. And then the warming and the filling up the bottles, and the finding a bottle that would work for her, and THE CLEANING. NOPE. No thanks. Plus, every time someone tried to give her a bottle, she'd slap it out of their hands. She had opinions. So, she simply went every where I did. And nursed wherever, whenever she liked. And I never had to clean pump parts and bottles again. Which was glorious!! And due to the cosleeping, I was not sleep deprived, and the hubbs didn't have to get up in the middle of the night, so he could still function at work. I didn't even bother buying bottles for little man. He's never had one, never will. And by the time girlfriend was a little over 1, she was drinking out of cups. All of this was made possible by my next lazy tip:<br />
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Moby/ ERGO/ Babywearing! Here's the thing. I used to work out. My nickname in my family was muscles, cause when it came to moving furniture, lifting heavy things, doing hard work, I was your man. And although I would rather get myself waxed everywhere than ever lift weights again, I'm still fairly strong. But. It is simply asinine to carry around a 20 pound effing infant car seat, along with a 30 pound diaper bag and then a baby. Why would anyone do this to themselves? That's a lot of shit to cart around. And those car seats don't fit well in anything- not grocery carts, not high chairs in restaurants, barely in a car. So I lived in a moby wrap until the babes were big enough for the Ergo carrier. They were never fussy because they were being held, so we never needed pacifiers (lazy lazy lazy, who feels like dealing with that drama when it's time to give them up), if they were hungry, the boobs were right there for the taking and usually no one noticed that I was constantly feeding my kiddos, I had my hands free to get shit done (and I really really love to make lists and get shit done....it's kinda my thing), and because I refused to pump and bottle, I never had to carry around bottles and paraphernalia in my diaper bag, making it significantly lighter. Lazy lazy lazy win. The kiddo witching hour when you're trying to get dinner together and baby just wants you? Wear em. Just be careful. We had a mishap with little man that makes me a million times more careful in the kitchen. But on the plus side, both my kids love to play in the kitchen and help. We'll talk about this more in another section. And for all the folks that told me my kids would never learn how to crawl/ walk etc....they both walked early. Oh joy of joys. I would have preferred lazier kiddos, quite honestly. We also didn't have to deal with strollers ever. Crowded places, airports, malls, parks....no strollers. So much easier to navigate. Until I got pregnant with little man, and by about 18 weeks wearing girlfriend was just no longer an option. but by that time she loved to walk, and the stroller was an ok option for her when she was (finally) tired. One less thing to pack and carry around. Because lazy.<br />
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Baby proofing. Never fully understood this concept. I mean, gate off some stairs for a while. But padding every. single. thing. in your house? That sounds like work. And so, we didn't. We just straight up didn't. We stuck those plastic thingies in the outlets, because electrocution. We kept the door closed to the cat room, cause kitty litter doesn't make a good snack. Other than that? Nope. We have a stone hearth and fireplace. No padding, and no accidents. I was a bit nervous with girlfriend, cause she was my first, but she always just seemed to know it was there and slowed down before she got there. I thought perhaps it was because she was a girl (although her fearlessness at the playground and the launching herself off of all the things would suggest that had nothing to do with it). But little man has also never had an issue with it. Actually, I happened to watch him one day, and he naturally slowed himself down before he got to the fireplace (right around 7 months old), then used it to stand himself up, looked around, and got back down. They seem to have a natural awareness of what's around them, not only in their home but everywhere else as well. I'm inclined to think it's because we didn't pad down the house like a Little Gym, and they had no choice but to figure it out.And we also don't use plastic for their eating and drinking needs. Glasses and metal utensils and real plates. Girlfriend broke one plate, once. While unloading the dishwasher when she tried to pick up too many at a time. Lazy. And winning.<br />
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Food. Ah food. The bane of most parents' existence. Look it up and you'll find 24 million blog posts and articles about just how sucky it is to feed little people, and their tyrannical demands. And we don't want to go all medieval on them, so we feed them pre-cooked shit shaped like dinosaurs and sigh. Once again, laziness prevails, and it seems to be working for us. I didn't feed them solid food until they were a year old (little man I started a little earlier, but he didn't really do anything but taste a little until 11 months). I one time made a puree for girlfriend. It was stupid. She just wanted what was on my plate, and couldn't care less about the orange colored ridiculousness I was trying to give her. So. I stopped making separate food. Some of her first meals were pasta bolognese, moussaka, chicken mole fajitas, and spinach sauteed with garlic and olive oil. She loved it, she ate off of our plates most of the time, while sitting on our laps (cause who needs to always have a high chair with them? ain't no one got time for that). She ate everything we gave her, and she pretty much still does. She obviously has foods she doesn't prefer (she no longer likes the moussaka with the goat cheese bechamel topping, she just wants to eat the meat and eggplant mixture). But there's food that I don't like so I'm not gonna sweat it. Not only does she loooooove to eat, but she loves to cook too. She flips her own eggs and pancakes, she helps cut stuff up (with a special knife from pampered chef that doesn't cut skin but can cut through most veggies and fruits and sometimes even chicken). She knows how to properly salt and pepper food, and she is OBSESSED with dipping things in olive oil. Screw ketchup, she knows the good stuff. We've never ordered off of a kids menu for her, and don't ever plan to. In California, we tried to give her chicken fingers once, in Disneyland. She took one bite, spit them out, and hasn't tried them since. I find that hilarious. And little man the other night chowed down on Serbian meatballs, a yogurt cucumber dill salad, and roasted potatoes. Start em early. And they both are really really neat eaters. I don't know if it's because I waited to feed them, but I'm always kind of shocked by the lack of mess I have to deal with. And I firmly believe this was because I was too damned lazy to cook them separate food. Seriously. Who has time for that? That's nonsense. If children in other countries can eat food with flavors and spices, why can't ours? Do we have different stomachs that I don't know about? It's like some doctor somewhere said American children are only capable of eating bland food (enter Gerbers and the jars of nasty) and suddenly everyone panics and only feeds kids things that no one else would ever eat because it's disgusting. Either way, it's working for us. And for some reason, they don't really snack, either. Unless I am. And sometimes I share.<br />
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So, the daily grind. Little miss can entertain herself for HOURS. Coloring, drawing, somehow figuring out by the time she was 2 1/2 how to write all of her letters, and then writing her name without either of us having taught it to her....I still don't know how that happened. She builds lego towers and train tracks, and takes care of her babies, and races cars. All without mommy's assistance. Granted, the first year plus of her life was spent being carried around by me. She had a rough start and she loved to be carried and I loved having her on me. No swings, no seats, no play mats unless she was really showing interest in being put down, and then the playmat lasted about 5 minutes. And there was no dropping her off in the nursery at church. And she only had a babysitter a total of 5 times in her life so far (my mom, and some really close trusted friends). Yes, that means we didn't do date nights. Out. We would put her to bed and have date nights in. (but we also waited for 5 years of marriage before having kiddos so we kind of expected that there'd be a period of time where going out wouldn't happen so much). She was mommy's girl for sure, and not surprising, considering again traumatic first 2 months of life. But she's quite the independent little thing now. And little man is shaping up to be the same, but he WILL go to the church nursery, and he's happy letting anyone hold him. He's also pretty chill about just hanging out playing in the play kitchen, or playing Godzilla to all big sister's train tracks and towers. They give me time to get stuff done while exploring their surroundings. No crafts provided by me. No setting up games. No whining. No boredom. And somehow, learning has happened. Again, if I figure it out, I'm gonna find a way to sell the method because seriously!! I had zero to do with the learning of all the letters. Maybe it was from watching SuperWhy?? Lazy and loving it. <br />
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Yes, my kids sometimes watch TV. not all that much (unless we're sick, in which case, bring. on. the. disney. movies.) We cancelled cable, and I LOATHE all things Disney channel, Disney junior, Nick junior. The shows don't have much to offer learning wise, and I hate commercials, and I'm still trying to figure out why Caillou is even a thing. We watch Superwhy, I tried Sesame Street but she never took to it, and unfortunately she did take to Thomas the Train. I have a really hard time not rolling my eyes while this nonsense is on (Gordon is a real asshole), but it's only the Christmas episode that's on Netflix so I suppose I'll suck it up. Anything else they watch are Disney movies....because mamma likes to sing along. And here's the great catch- if your kid doesn't ever watch commercials, your kid will NEVER ASK YOU FOR SPECIFIC TOYS EVER. This has been the greatest discovery in the history of my household. Her favorite thing to do is grab a gift bag, throw a bunch of crap she finds around the house in it, and excitedly proclaim "Happy Birthday! I made you a present!". This makes my mommy heart happy. And also not hearing about how badly she wants a certain toy is glorious. Lazy, non cable having, not having to watch nonsense I don't like, goodness.<br />
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Napping. She stopped at 2. And before that she only napped on me until she was about 18 months old. This is not as awful as you think. She napped, I took walks. She napped, I went to the mall. She napped, I went to "play dates" where I'd sit and chat with friends and drink coffee. We weren't chained to the house. Same boat with little man, naps on me. But then girlfriend and I can go to the park. Or the children's museum. Or hang out outside and paint. Lazy.<br />
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Speaking of parks....she climbs all the things. all the time. No fear. And I've never once told her "oh honey you can't do that". I'm always a little shocked at the number of parents who do. If your kid wants to give it a try, why would you say no?? Maybe stand there and make sure they don't fall off of it, but why discourage their bravery? If they think they can, they probably can. The few times she didn't want to try something, she was the one who approached it, looked at it, then said "nope" hopped down and found something else. Trust their instincts. We're all wired to survive. Let em do their thing. Just like I've heard kids ask to try their parent's food, and they say "you probably won't like it." Self fulfilling prophesy, people. <br />
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Cleanliness. My kids seems to really enjoy being clean. I find this amusing and awesome. Since day 1, I've given the kiddos showers with me instead of baths. I have no time or patience for filling up a tiny tub that a mini, wet, squiggly thing is going to work their hardest to get out of, just to get me and the entire bathroom wet in the process of cleaning my child. Then, I have to scrub out said tub? No. Thank. You. While they were itty bitty, they would lay on a blanket outside of the shower door while I showered, then I'd bring them in to wash them. As they got a bit older, they moved into just hanging out in the shower with me, then me washing them. Girlfriend started washing herself when she turned 3 (don't worry, I still check to make sure all the bits are clean). We can get up and out within 45 minutes, including showering all 3 of us and doing my hair and make up. Lazy.<br />
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Along with the attachment parenting, I started reading up on a more gentle discipline than any I had heard of or thought to use. Mainly, it's just an understanding that your child is a person with feelings just like any person, and respecting those feelings, and working with a toddler's natural curiosity and abilities instead of fighting against them. Part of it is always comforting them when they ask for it, even when you don't necessarily think they need it. I find a well-timed hug, kiss, and snuggle will tame the tantrum that's brewing. I give her choices a lot- should we brush our teeth or brush our hair first. As long as she gets to choose, she does what needs to get done with no yelling from me. And she started dressing herself around 2 years old. Buttons still trip her up a bit, but girlfriend can pick out an outfit, put it on, including shoes, brush her hair and brush her teeth. And loves doing it. <br />
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We have time-ins, instead of time outs. I never liked the idea of sending them away if they've done something wrong. So, we go together to a spot to sit and calm down. We take some deep breaths, and she tells me why she's mad/ sad/ happy and screamy, etc. These work so well for her. Usually, she just wanted a bit of my attention all to herself, and that gives her the opportunity. Do we have those days where everyone is yelling at everyone? Of course, I have children. Does she have days of some defiance which makes me want to put my head through a wall? Yup. She's 3 1/2. But I feel like those "terrible 2's and 3's" weren't ever really a problem.<br />
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Alright, so the truth is, the lazy parenting is our pay off now for the work we put in early on. It's true, I missed out on some nights out because I had a nursling that I wasn't willing to leave at home. We didn't, and still don't, have that many date nights....maybe 2 a year. But it's just a season and we actually both really enjoy taking the kiddos with us out to dinner or just out and about. It's considered extreme by many, but setting up that foundation for what we have now? Lazy priceless.<br />
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Our Valentine's Date<br />
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Date night watching a movie. We wouldn't want it any other way.<br />
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Loves!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-60066327211723912932015-03-13T20:38:00.000-04:002015-03-13T20:38:09.205-04:00If you love breakfast, make this pasta NOW (in 20 minutes total!) Spaghetti CarbonaraI love bacon and eggs. Always and forever. We eat eggs every. single. day. There's nothing better for breakfast. Nothing. The kiddos agree. And bacon? Duh. (whole foods dry rubbed black forest bacon. get it).<br />
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So when I'm feeling lazy/ want to eat breakfast for dinner, I whip out a pasta carbonara. Bacon and the eggs are the sauce. However, I haven't been super successful in making this dish in the past. Don't get me wrong, it's still been delicious, but it hasn't been that creamy goodness that I dream of. Until yesterday.<br />
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I've tried Mario Batali''s recipe, and you had to separate the eggs, and it was work, and I screwed it up and made slightly scrambled egg pasta. So last night, I used <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/the-chew/recipes/spaghetti-carbonara-clinton-kelly">Clinton Kelly's recipe</a> as my base. Ummmm....AMAZEBALLS. So easy, and the best carbonara I've ever had hands down. Because I was feeling like a lot of veggies but didn't feel like making a salad, I took a few liberties with what I added in there. I'm sure it would have been just as amazing if I had followed his recipe exactly, but I think my stuff put it over the top!<br />
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So. You make some bacon. Obvs. And buy good bacon. The one I referenced above will change your life. No exaggeration. Then drain some of the bacon grease (but you save that shit in a mason jar because cooking in it is heaven and you don't have to go try to find a good lard which is exactly nowhere most of the time). At the same time, put on a pot of boiling, salty as the sea water for the pasta.<br />
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I cut up cherry tomatoes, scallions, some frozen peas, and some frozen corn. They work really well together and then you don't need side dishes. It's all about the lazy, people. <br />
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Whisk the eggs into a bowl with a good dose of that starchy pasta water (obviously, let the spaghetti cook for a few minutes to get starchy enough. And add it slowly to the eggs, because you don't want to cook them. He has all this in his directions, but I figured I'd be thorough. Add salt and a lot of pepper and grated parmesan to the egg mix.<br />
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Throw the veggies and the bacon into your skillet that you cooked the bacon in, with the bacon grease and a little olive oil. Once the pasta is almost done, add it to the skillet, along with a ladleful of pasta water (or more as needed). The pasta will finish cooking in the skillet and soak up all the goodness and be nicely prepared to accept the egg mix.<br />
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REMOVE THE PASTA FROM THE SKILLET. So important, otherwise, you'll have an egg scramble. Put it in a bowl. Then slowly add in the egg mix. Stir. Grate some more parm over it because cheese. Eat immediately.<br />
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Holy. Freaking. Crap. I could seriously eat this every day of the week. Clinton Kelly is a genius with adding the pasta water to the mixed eggs. And it's SO EASY. It took about 20 minutes to throw this together, start to finish.<br />
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This will not disappoint. <br /><br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-53438229309051481592015-02-17T19:57:00.003-05:002015-02-17T19:57:18.476-05:00Cuban Sandwiches- An Immediate Do!So I have never attempted to make Cuban food. Not sure why. It wasn't super popular where I grew up so I guess I never really thought about it before. We rock Mexican food all the time, but not many other Latin cuisines.<br />
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Then, we watched the movie "Chef". And it totally changed our lives. For starters, once the kids are old enough, we're buying a food truck and just traveling across the country cooking.<br />
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Also, it inspired us to try to make some Cuban food. And since the hubbs is all about a sandwich (and I'm all about making bread), we started with the Cuban sandwich. And I had a little help from <a href="http://icuban.com/food/cuban_sandwich.html">Three guys from Miami.</a> There is a shortage of blogs out there dedicated to Cuban food. But these guys seem to know what they're talking about. I used their recipes for the Cuban bread, the lechon asado, and the Cuban sandwich. I highly recommend all 3.<br />
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So here's what I did a bit differently.<br />
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<a href="http://icuban.com/food/pan_cubano2.html">The bread. </a> OH MY GOSH THE BREAD. Hands down, the best sandwich bread (especially for a toasted sandwich) that I've ever eaten. And they are right. ALWAYS USE LARD. Always. It's hard to find a good lard- Whole Foods doesn't sell it for some reason. And our trusted butcher (now BB Ranch because Bill the Butcher closed) only sells it sometimes. This time they only had duck fat. It worked beautifully. Just bring on the fat.<br />
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There are not enough words in the english language to describe this bread. But here's what I would do differently. I would not make one ginormous loaf. It was massive. I would break it into at least 3 loaves.<br />
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The lechon asado (roasted pork) was also phenomenal. I used all the ingredients they said to (although I did use fresh oranges, limes and lemons instead of sour orange juice. I enjoy fresh squeezed). I did however cook it totally different. I of course did not read the <a href="http://icuban.com/food/lechon_asado.html">recipe instructions</a> before making it, so I missed the whole poke holes throughout the pork and let it sit in the marinade overnight piece of it. Oopsie. So I improvised. And let me tell you. Deliciousness happened. For starters, I stabbed the pork shoulder all over with a small knife like they say to. Then I hacked up the pork shoulder into 5 big chunks. There is flavor in the brown (thank you Carla Hall!), and as many sides as can be browned, should be. So I threw some lard in a dutch oven, then browned on all sides each chunk of salted and peppered pork. Once it was all browned, I removed the pork, then started cooking all of the other ingredients. I softened the onions, I threw in the garlic, then added the juice and the oregano. I let that come to a boil and get all the bits of pork off the bottom of the pan, then I threw the pork chunks back in. I put that into a 225 degree oven and cooked that for about an hour and a half. Then I put it back on the stovetop and cooked a bit more. Once it was done, I took out all the pork, and I reduced the sauce that was left so it was nice and thick (warning, it gets saltier this way so don't go salt crazy in the beginning). This was a nice dipping sauce for the sandwich. Which is not in the recipe but I super heart a good dip.<br />
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We bought some smoked ham from our butcher. And let me just say. I've always hated ham. So has the hubbs. It just is not a flavor I enjoy....although I love EVERY OTHER PART OF A PIG. But this ham? This ham was stupid good. We bought a crap ton of it because it was just. so. good. I've put it in my eggs basically every single morning since we purchased it. SO. GOOD.<br />
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And we bought jarlsberg cheese. It's considered a baby swiss...a slightly milder flavor. I love a good, kick you in the teeth swiss, but the hubbs? Not so much. So we tasted a bunch at whole foods and that is the one we agreed upon. It still had some bite to it, but not so much that people in my house wouldn't eat it. And I will say that the pre-sliced swiss cheese? Just. Don't. It doesn't have nearly the same oomph. We bought a good ole hunk of cheese from the fancy pants cheese section and sliced it ourselves. You get more for your money, and you get WAY more flavor. You're welcome.<br />
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We also did the yellow mustard and the dill pickles. Organic of course. We were a bit skeptical of the yellow mustard, which neither of us has eaten since we were approximately 8. But it totally works with this sandwich.<br />
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And no, we don't have the special, Cuban sandwich maker but we do have a flat cast iron griddle and a bacon press, so we just used that. And the best sandwich in the history of ever was eaten that night.<br />
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And the salad on the side you ask? It's orange slices, avocado, and bacon. With a little salt and pepper. It's amazing. I could eat this every single day of every single month of every single year. And I just might. I believe the idea came from a restaurant, then I saw a pic of it on a friend's Instagram. And I jumped on that band wagon real quick.<br />
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And of course, as we made 2 1/2 pounds of pork, we had some leftovers. And since I'm not big on eating the exact same meal 2 nights in a row, I made a sorta dip out of them. And I'll be honest. I think I like the left over meal better than the original!<br />
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I just cut up some peppers and onions, and threw them in a cast iron skillet with the pork that I cubed up, and some of that marinade, and added some gruyere. I got a little crisp on everything. Then I threw it in a bowl and topped it with some blood orange slices and avocado slices. (I left out the bacon because the pork acted as that salty, fatty goodness the salad screams for). Then I ate this with tortilla chips.<br />
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Brilliance!!!!!!<br />
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Seriously. This might be one of my favorite meals ever. And it's funny. What makes me SUPER HEART LOVE LOVE LOVE Cuban food is all the citrus they use. I'm a sucker for lemon, orange, and lime on any and everything. The hubbs? Not so much. He always calls me out on using too much. He obviously is wrong, of course. But I try to make food he'll like.<br />
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Anway, you should make this immediately. So good. So worth it. And so trendy right now!<br />
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Loves! <br />
<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-39024239551914047402015-01-22T15:54:00.002-05:002015-01-22T15:54:49.996-05:00Snooty Brownies: aka brownies with goat cheese, fruit and lemon There are not enough words. This dessert is PERFECT for people who don't love overly sweet desserts. I am that person. I like a little tart. And I love fruit and chocolate together. Or chocolate with anything really, let's be honest. So I found a desert on <a href="http://www.thekitchn.com/sweet-recipe-raspberry-goat-cheese-brownies-165612">The Kitchn blog</a>. I loved the ingredients, but wasn't a huge fan of how it was made. So I tweeked. And I love it!<br />
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I saw the ingredients and knew I needed to make this, but I have never liked brownies that had a cream cheesy filling that was baked in it. I love cheesecake, so I don't know why it bothers me when it's baked into brownies, but it just does. Perhaps it's because you need a cakier brownie to hold up that cheese and I do not enjoy a cakey brownie.<br />
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So I decided to stick to my tried and true <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/the-chew/recipes/rocky-road-brownies-carla-hall">Carla Hall brownie recipe</a> (minus the nuts and marshmallows). I will say that I've always needed to cook them longer than the 20 minutes she suggests, but I'm also pretty sure that I've never used the correct pan to cook them in. And also, grease the crap out of the pan. These bad boys are STICKY. And wonderful just by themselves.<br />
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But then, while they're baking, go ahead and make essentially what is the icing for these brownies. I take out the goat cheese at least an hour before to soften it. And I used mascarpone, both because the flavor is better than cream cheese and also because the texture is creamier. I used about equal parts of each and I just eyeballed it to see how much I think I needed to cover the brownies. I added a little sugar too. That is all to your taste. Like I said, I don't love overly sweet desserts, so I only added a little pinch.<br />
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I also made a fruit compote to add. I just took a bunch of frozen berries, stuck them in a pot, put it on low heat, and let them break down (with some help from my potato masher). I added lemon zest and lemon juice and some sugar and about 1/2 tbsp of corn starch to thicken it a tiny bit. Again, this is all to your specific tastes. I like mine tart, so I add a little and taste until I get it how I like it. It's all very scientific.<br />
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I didn't just throw the berries into the goat cheese mixture because I didn't want it to be pink icing, I wanted to see a swirl. But you totally could and it would be delicious. I just wanted a good picture.<br />
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Once the brownies cooled a little bit, a started to ice it. It was not easy. The icing was thick, and it was a bit challenging to spread. I would have added more mascarpone if I had any left. So I resorted to using my finger to spread it. Then I spooned some fruit compote on and swirled it in.<br />
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The rest? Is magical dessert-y history.<br />
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Loves and dessert always!<br />
Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-62498001381593683502015-01-16T23:56:00.001-05:002015-01-17T12:03:22.498-05:00Measles vs Ebola- An Airplane DialogueI was talking this over with some friends recently. And I was suuuuuuuuper pissed about it before, and then forgot to blog/ rant about it. And then I brought it up and got all pissy all over again. So here goes.<br />
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I got a warning that on certain dates in December, someone had measles on an airplane that landed in Seatac (which is where we fly in and out of, and where we happened to be the day or 2 after this "epidemic" hit).<br />
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Apparently, the CDC spouted a whole bunch of nonsense, Disneyland was involved, all the sheeple lost their damned minds because OH MY GOD A RASH IS ON THE LOOSE! WARN EVERYONE! TOUCH NOTHING EVER! If you were anywhere near anything the infected may have breathed on, you're doomed. DOOMED.<br />
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Ummmmm. Take a breath, America.<br />
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For starters. It's the effing measles. It's a rash. Does it suck? Yup. Do you want it? Probably not. Are you vaccinated against it? Most likely yes. Because if you or your children aren't vaccinated you are death waiting to happen and clearly have no problems killing small babies. Or so I've been told.<br />
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And also? It's rarely deadly. Rarely. And here's the thing. If your immune system is SO compromised that the measles would kill you, you most likely are not in Disneyland, or on an airplane. I would think. Because there's A LOT of shit flying around on an airplane. And in Disney. Not that you don't deserve to fly or go to there, but that most people would simply decide not to.<br />
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Please don't send me hate mail about how sick people deserve to do all those things too. Because I agree, they do. But they do face a certain amount of risk, and you can't request that everyone on an airplane be sprayed down with antibacterial foam because there's a risk of you catching something.<br />
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I digress. Kind of.<br />
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Because here's the thing.<br />
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NO ONE STOPPED EBOLA FROM FLYING.<br />
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It barely made a blip in the news. I sure as hell didn't get a disclaimer about EBOLA flying through my airport, that I had just happened to visit (I apparently like to fly during disease season.). The CDC was a big fat pile of worthless and "well probably you'll be fine unless you get a fever, and then probably you don't need to quarantine yourself (I'm looking at you, you numb nuts nurse out on your effing bike around the town because you were offended after HANDLING ALL THE EBOLA)." I mean.<br />
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Can we just be rational here? For like, a minute? EBOLA HAS A 50% DEATH RATE WITH NO CURE. NO VACCINE. NADDA. ZIP. ZERO. As in, hello, you're effed. Measles? Like, 1% die. For that 1%, that's a huge bummer. But you know what we have for measles?<br />
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A CURE.<br />
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And therein lies the rub. There's no money in Ebola. They don't have a vaccine for it. There's nothing that they can force the population to get injected with so that they DON'T get ebola. (I will not even start a convo about the not quite accurate info being spouted that is vaccinated herd immunity. because hate mail.). But there's nothing to sell. So the CDC kept their mouth shut. They DID NOT STOP PEOPLE FLYING WHO HAD A LIKELIHOOD OF HAVING A DISEASE THAT 50% OF PEOPLE DIE FROM. They didn't stop it. They didn't even really talk about it. They didn't apologize. The media outlets almost let it become a frenzy of panic stricken what the hell is the government doing to protect us. And then. Funny enough. It dropped off everyone's radar.<br />
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But the measles? HOLY SHIT THE MEASLES ARE BACK WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND IF YOU DON'T GET A VACCINE RIGHT NOW WE WILL COME AFTER YOU WITH OUR TORCHES AND YELLING. The CDC made sure that they stated unequivocally that without the vaccine, you are a walking death threat. Stay in your homes. Be afraid.<br />
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Why, exactly? Ohhhhh.......because guess who's getting paid? Big pharma. Which donates quite generously to the government. Everytime a story like this pops up, there's a huge pay out. Doesn't matter that it's not life threatening. Doesn't matter that it's easily treatable. And also doesn't seem to matter that if you've been vaccinated for it then SHOULDN'T IT PROTECT YOU AGAINST NOT GETTING IT SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FREAKING OUT???<br />
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I feel like this should have been a catalyst for the crumbling facade of a CDC/ government entity that simply does NOT have our backs. At any turn. A government that is in the pockets of greedy business men/ corporations who are destroying our nation's food, medicine, and health.<br />
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Imagine my surprise when I heard crickets. Complete radio silence.<br />
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What is happening??<br />
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I know this all seems very conspiracy theory, and I swear I don't line my walls with aluminum foil so "they" can't hear my thoughts. But this one just seems SOOOO obvious. And no one says or does anything. I, for one, would like to believe that the leaders of this country have my best interests at heart. But time and time again, both financially, and health wise, they prove me wrong.<br />
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This one just hit so hard. And so close to home. As both measles and ebola and I apparently got close. Ships passing in the night and all.<br />
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So that's my angry Jersey rant for the night. <br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-52664414513009188752015-01-05T14:48:00.001-05:002015-03-23T16:27:20.588-04:00The Holding- A Toddler Poop StoryOh the control. The crazy crazy sphincter control of a toddler. This is a story working towards a happy, or workable, ending. I've been meaning to write this post for a while now, but haven't gotten around to it, due in part to all the mid-wifing I've been forced into.<br />
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New job, you ask? Not quite. It's just that my SAHM position has required a new activity- cheering on, and coaxing out, the poop from my toddler.<br />
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Yup.<br />
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I sing songs about it. We have a poop party every time it happens. We never EVER say anything bad about poop (if you tell my child her poop stinks and is gross I SWEAR TO ALL THE THINGS I WILL CUT YOU).<br />
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Because the holding. DEAR LORD THE HOLDING.<br />
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It started over a year ago. I was about 18 weeks pregnant with little man, when the hubbs was sent to California for a work trip. For 3 weeks. Since there was just no way in hell he was going without us, we drove <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/12/hell-hath-no-fury-like-3-weeks-of.html">from Seattle to San Diego and stayed for 3 weeks.</a> We learned stuff. We laughed. We cried. We screamed. And. We didn't eat nearly as well as we usually do.<br />
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Of course, there was no kitchen in our hotel room. And we tried to stick with as much organic food as possible. But let's face it. When you're eating out for every meal, that's not always feasible. And so, babygirl got a bit backed up.<br />
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And I know I can't be the only parent out there who has suffered through this. I know my mom had this problem with me when I was little. Once it hurts a toddler to poop, getting them to poop again is challenging, to say the least.<br />
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It took 2 weeks after returning home to get ALL of our bodies up and running in a fairly regular fashion again. And she had a few issues where it built up a bit, and we had to talk her into pooping, but it wasn't life altering.<br />
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Until the end of my pregnancy.<br />
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And then, the shit simply didn't hit the fan.<br />
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She knew things were changing. And at 2 1/2, didn't have all the words to tell us about it. And so she held it.<br />
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My mom flew out the week before I was scheduled for my c-section. Babygirl didn't poop for almost that whole week. I scoured the interwebs for natural ways to help it along. Of course, miralax was the go to. And thanks but no thanks. I'd rather not drug her up, and have her muscles not be able to do what they need to do. But Dr. Sears had some really great suggestions. Turns out that one of his children had this issue for about 2 years. His wife, also a doctor, said she felt like a mid wife for those 2 years. That's when I started crying because YES! THAT'S EXACTLY IT!<br />
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So, the night before I had little man, we filled her up with prune juice, a little apple juice (because for some reason apples weren't doing the trick but organic apple juice shot it out of her), and flaxseed oil. We mixed it with the prune juice because that oil is hard to smell, much less get down. Then, we put her in a hot, soapy bath and let her play. (we used castille soap- nice and oily. lubing up the works).<br />
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God bless Nana. She had her feet in there with her, playing, trying to get her to hang out in a squat like position. And suddenly. Babygirl screamed a bit. And out came 2 of the world's largest, hardest turds. Her tiny little belly shrunk down noticeably. Nana scooped those turds out with her hand, amazed at the size, and how she was able to get them out cause they were like rocks. We praised her up and down, we laughed, we sang, we eventually flushed the poop down.....and we all slept better knowing she was healthy and not in pain for her first ever sleep time without mommy and daddy for the next day or two.<br />
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From then on, we would make sure that babygirl had a shot of prune juice every day. Literally. We give her prune juice in a shot glass (easier to measure, and she gets so excited to use real glasses her size). It keeps her poop on the soft side so if there is a build up, it's not ripping her apart. And the hot soapy baths are like magic. It opens and relaxes everything. Sometimes she poops in the bath tub, and sometimes, right afterwards, in her diaper. And of course for the day or two after, her poop is really really soft. And usually she poops a lot, clearing out the rest of her intestines.<br />
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One memorable time, at nana's house in jersey, she got all stopped up after the plane ride. We stuck her in the bath after a few days, and nana was so relieved that she finally pooped, that she scooped the poop out of the tub with her hands, held it there and sang to it. SANG TO IT. People, this holding stuff is no freakin joke.<br />
<br />
I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Out of all of the experiences I've had in parenting. <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/05/are-you-still-nursing-and-other.html">The placental abruption. The NICU stay.</a> <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2014/12/so-much-mom-guilt.html">The burn unit with little man.</a> The toddler tantrums. The no sleep. Far and away, the holding and ensuing constipation in babygirl has been the most draining. The most taxing. The most nerve wracking. We still struggle with this. It's been over a year. And there's no physical reason this is happening. She simply likes to hold it. She flat out refuses to go on the potty. She panic screams if I suggest it most of the time. She used to like to go in the bathtub, but recently when she's in the tub and feels she has to go, she asks to get out and put a diaper in. And girlfriend does NOT like to get out of the tub ever. I'm not sure if that's progress or not....is a tub closer to potty than a diaper? Is there a way to measure that? Is that the oddest question ever asked?<br />
<br />
So here's what I've learned, and what I'm still learning. Almost all of my friends have never had this issue. I love/ hate them.<br />
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I'm super thankful that it never lasted for so long that we had to get the poop physically removed from her body. I know people who have. And I am so so sorry they had to go through that. That's hellish.<br />
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What we're currently doing right now seems to be working fairly well. So I'm gonna share. Because honestly? There's just not that much info out there on how to manage this without lasting side effects, emotional scarring, and medication. So here goes.<br />
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At least a shot glass full of organic prune juice every day. Even if you're not doing an organic food lifestyle now, please just get the organic prune juice. The other crap they put in juices will only help to stop up the works if it's conventional. and a bottle of it goes a long way if you're giving it in shot glass doses.<br />
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As much as possible, try to get organic, virgin coconut oil into their diet. We like to drink smoothies. We add organic yogurt, spinach, coconut oil, chia seeds, berries and usually some peanut or almond butter. Obvs, the spinach helps a ton too.<br />
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Food. I try and make sure she eats enough ruffage. Greens are colon's little broom (thanks Mario Batali!) and definitely help to push it through.<br />
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To get the ruffage down, we let her dip it in extra virgin olive oil. This kid is OBSESSED with dipping her food. OBSESSED. And she loves loves loves olive oil. This helps with a) getting her to eat stuff she may have been opposed to and b) all the oil. lubing up the works from the inside.<br />
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We don't typically resort to the flaxseed oil until there's a real big issue with getting the poop out.<br />
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We sing poopy songs. She loves them. I shall share them with you because that's how much I love you.<br />
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to the tune of "the little white duck"<br />
I'm a little brown poop, swimming in the water<br />
A little brown poop. Just doing what I oughta<br />
I flew right out of Ava's tooshey<br />
It didn't hurt at all, cause I'm nice and squishy<br />
Cause I'm a little brown poop, swimming in the water<br />
Plop! Plop! Plop! (her most favorite part)<br />
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Yes tooshey (touchey??) and squishy rhyme. And if you figure out how to spell tooshey, lemme know.<br />
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The other one, sung to "Camptown races"<br />
Every one poops every day<br />
Do da. Do da.<br />
Every one poops every day<br />
Oh doo doo day.<br />
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Did you see what I did there at the end? With the doo doo? I know. Hilarious.<br />
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People. I'm pretty sure this is why I got my degree in music education.<br />
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It's a fun way to remind her that everyone has to poop daily, without nagging her about it. Because the nagging? That results in a lot more holding.<br />
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She goes to the bathroom with me all the time. And we're constantly talking about how to poop. How much mommy poops, which she thinks is hilarious cause it's pretty much always. How we squat down (or at least bend our knees) so the poop comes out easier. And she gets pretty excited sometimes to show us "look I stand like THIS to poop!" This is usually done in front of people we're not close with. Because of course it is.<br />
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If it's been 2 days and we've only had little teeny turds, or none at all (except the tell tale "shmear" meaning she held it with all her might and it tried to beat her), then it's time for the big guns. She gets no more dairy. And, we start to promise a reward. If you poop, you can have a cookie/ some ice cream/ etc. She knows we take that stuff away because it blocks up her poop, so she can have it again if she just let's it go. Oooh, that's another one we sing. Let it go. Thank you disney.<br />
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Day 3. If I watch her holding it in several times in a short span of time, the next time she tries to hold it, I'll go and hold her in a squat position. She faces me, her feet are planted on my thighs, and I hold her calves and make sure her knees are bent. She does not like this. I'm not a huge fan either. But we remind her that she doesn't want to have to go somewhere so they can take the poop out. Then she usually says "I do all mine byself" goes to a corner and finishes up. And if not?<br />
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BATH TIME!!<br />
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Let's just not talk about how many times I've had to scrub out my tub. It's traumatic and I'm trying to block it out.<br />
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I can only pray that little man won't have this issue, and that one day soon, she will simply just want to go. Right now, she sleeps through the night without peeing, and she loves to pee on the potty, but potty training is just not happening because I just want her to shit regularly. And if I try and take away the diaper for that I usually get rewarded with lots more holding. Awesome. I'll let you know if I have a break through in that department.<br />
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So that's where we stand. I'm a mid wife for poo. It's not a great title to hold. It's exhausting. And when daddy gives a glass of milk after day 2 of not going saying "it doesn't matter now anyway, she's had all the prune juice" I try my hardest not to bitch slap him. (Sometimes daddy doesn't quite get it. Daddy has yet to shovel shit out of a tub. I shall change this very soon.)<br />
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I hope this was semi helpful for you. I know I would have appreciated it when this whole shit show started.<br />
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I'm on FIRE with the puns today.<br />
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Loves and poop!<br />
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UPDATE!!<br />
I super super don't want to jinx us, but we've gone for almost 2 months with only an incident or two of holding (neither of which lasted past the 3rd day, and both times, as soon as we got in the bathtub she said "mommy look I did BIIIIIIIG poopy!"<br />
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What finally seemed to work was making the most ridiculous analogy of all time.<br />
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I compared poop to a fish. I straight up did.<br />
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Her fave movie for a while was Finding Nemo. She gets very sad when Nemo can't find his daddy and daddy is looking for Nemo. So I told her that, just like Nemo wants to get back to the ocean to be with his family, her poops desperately want to fly out of her tushie into the toilet to be with their family. So far, she's totally buying it. She still goes in the diaper (whatevs, she's GOING!), but then we flush it down the toilet so they can all be together as one big happy family. I was just so ready to try ANYTHING AND ALL THE THINGS! And this seems to be working!!!! She empathizes with movies a lot (typically substituting her name and our names for the characters and telling me stories that way), so this hit home.<br />
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Here's to staying on this every day poopy train and hoping it works for you too!!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-43621960183571668892014-12-16T15:28:00.000-05:002014-12-16T15:42:09.565-05:00SO. MUCH. MOM. GUILT.So. In all my baby-wearing, love to cook glory; we had a huge mishap the other night. Oh how the mighty have fallen.<br />
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I've listened as people told me to be careful, I shouldn't cook while wearing my kiddos. And I've kinda laughed it off. I had 3 years under my belt without so much as a burnt fingertip on a child, so OBVIOUSLY I knew what I was doing. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll do as I please. Until December 11th.<br />
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That is the day that my 8 month old baby boy ended up at the Harborview Burn Unit.<br />
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Maybe it's because I was dead tired. Maybe it's cause I had a pretty bad cold and my common sense was numbed a bit. Any way you look at it, I was a GIANT idiot and my son paid the price.<br />
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I decided to make some fresh pea and sunchoke soup for dinner. I added stock and peas and roasted sunchokes and brought it all to a boil. Then I carefully ladled it into the blendtec. I was wearing little man at the time. Girlfriend was standing on a stool at the stove helping me cook. Hubbs was making sure girlfriend was not getting into trouble while doing that. I suggested he take the baby, but saw that he was with her, and decided I would just keep him on me.<br />
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I will tell you that I obviously filled the blender too much. And perhaps I should have instinctively known that. But I will also tell you that I read the blendtec manual when we bought it, and there's not a warning on there to not fill it after a certain point because it will blow the lid off. That motor is powerful. I had my hand on the lid. Little man was facing against my chest. It started to blend, and the soup started to erupt through the lid, burning my hand. I turned away from the blender, thinking I'd be protecting him. Instead of just hitting a button to stop the stupid machine from blending. Worst decision ever. The lid blew off entirely and rained down hot chunks of soup. I yanked him out of the ergo and literally threw him in the sink, washing it off. It took a minute to get his onesie off because he was struggling. Then I ran upstairs and put the both of us right in the bathtub to keep his skin cool and wet. I was fully clothed still. That's when I noticed that the skin on his arm started peeling.<br />
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We decided to take him to the ER. Why we thought it would be faster than calling an ambulance, I'll never really know. So many bad decisions that night. While hubbs drove, I was spraying a naked little man down with breast milk. I knew it healed sunburns, and I hoped it would help. But it didn't stop the skin from bubbling and blistering up. It might be one of the most horrific things I've ever seen. We got to the hospital, and couldn't find the ER, so we just went to the NICU, where girlfriend spent her first 2 months. The security guard there called an ambulance (the ER moved to a different campus), but the ambulance decided to take us straight to Harborview Burn Unit in Seattle. I think that's when it sank in that we did some serious damage to this poor baby's skin. And I would have a real hard time forgiving myself for this one. Luckily (???) for me, I had a lot of experience with babies and trauma, so I put on my game face and did what I needed to do. There's no crying in baseball and burn units, right?<br />
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We sat in the ER (not pleasant, especially for a 3 year old) for about 3 hours before being moved to a room in the burn unit. Everyone- ambulance EMTs, docs, nurses- all amazing. All reassuring me that this kind of thing happened all the time. That his burns were 2nd degree, but looked pretty superficial, so there shouldn't be any scarring. That there were only a few spots where the burns were white (apparently the white ones are deep). That the blisters that continued to bubble up and then burst all over little man and I were normal and supposed to happen. That he won't remember any of this. That yes the sheriff had to file a report on the incident, but it seemed pretty straight forward so we probably wouldn't be interviewed by CPS.<br />
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But mom guilt.<br />
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We finally went to the burn unit around 11 pm. Hubbs had taken girlfriend to the cafeteria to get some dinner, since ours currently resided all over the kitchen counters, cabinets, and floors. They stayed long enough to find out what room we would be admitted into. Little man and I hung out in a wound care room. I never ever ever want to be in a wound care room again. Everything is metal covered in plastic bags. Super sterile. And they told me they'd give him more oxycodone and a sedative, so that he wouldn't remember what they were about to do. I say they. Turned out it was the nurse and I. I did a lot of things in the NICU I never thought I'd have to do to my baby. But this?? This was the worst. I had to hold him down while they took tweezers to the blisters and dead skin to clean the wounds. Next to him, on my hands and knees, trying to hold him still and nurse him to calm him, while he screamed bloody murder. That's a forever image. Along with burning him in the first place. December 11th can suck it.<br />
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Thankfully, she was super efficient and got it done in about 6 minutes. She bandaged him all up and he immediately fell asleep on me. And I finally let it all go. I'm pretty sure I cried all night. I "slept" in 15 minute increments. Thank God, he slept next to me and was out until they had to wake him at 9:30 the next morning for his next round of wound care. This one not nearly as bad. I once again got my shit together to help torture/ bathe my son. <br />
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He slept through the rest of that day for the most part. He managed to sleep through his physical therapy, where I learned how to do stretches with him so the skin stretches naturally and doesn't pucker or stiffen. More and more realizing how bad this burn actually is. And the kicker? The soup got all over my hand, arm and chest. I didn't ever really wash it off, it kind of wiped off a bit when I took off my soupy clothes to go to the hospital. And everything was bright bright red. But by the time we got to the ER? I had ZERO MARKS ANYWHERE. None. Not a bubble. Not even patchy red skin. I've never bruised easily, I've never broken a bone, and I heal really quickly. But this was just effing ridiculous. Am I made of leather? How the hell did my son get burned SO BADLY and I walked away without a mark? Not helping the mom guilt. And I feel like the cops were probably not believing my story since I was unscathed. I knew they wouldn't....but I had this fear in the back of my head that they might take my baby from me. All not helpful. <br />
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We were discharged from the hospital late afternoon the next day. With bandages, lotions, tylenol, oxy, and a little man bundled up in what looks like mouse pads (they release silver into the wounds which is anti-microbial and help heal and seal off the burns from air). All except for the chin, which we have to clean and bandage up twice a day. Not fun, painful for him, but at least it's healing.<br />
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And here's where I really struggle. I know a lot about what garbage they put in meds, in lotions, in vaccines. It was strongly recommended that he get the tetanus immunoglobulin and the tetanus vaccine (DTAP). I obviously saw the wounds, and knew him getting tetanus would be disastrous. So I said yes (although we gave him the immunoglobulin that night, and waited until the next day to do the vaccine). We had said we weren't gonna vaccinate him at all until he was at least 2...but sometimes you just gotta roll with it.<br />
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And I'm not a monster, so I obviously was not gonna say no to pain meds for him. To be honest, I was just SUPER thankful that they didn't pump him full of anti-biotics. I thought that would have been the very first thing they did, but they didn't at all and I'm forever grateful for that! But tylenol has some serious nasty crap in it. We're trying to see when we can wean him off of it without him suffering. And the lotion. It's in his open wounds, and it has ingredients that I'm just so not ok with. But we decided we'll stick with the lotion they gave us until Friday, when we have our followup, and then we'll switch to my lotion, and I'll add aloe to it. I did ask the doc, and he was delightfully surprised that I make my own lotion, and also said that it should be ok if the medicated lotion we are giving him started to give him a rash. But for now, he seems to be tolerating it, so I'm pretending not to know the chemicals in it and just sucking it up.<br />
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I was convinced that I would have one child who didn't have medicine as a part of their early life. I see some of the stomach issues girlfriend has, and I do think that some are linked to early meds (lifesaving meds, but meds all the same). And on top of me possibly scarring my son for life, I'm also really upset that he has to be on pain medication, and that we had to vaccinate him earlier than planned (and in all honesty, I most likely was NOT going to get him DTAP vaccinated). And I know, I KNOW, that advances in science and medicine are the reason why BOTH of my kiddos are alive right now. But out here in the crunchy northwest, I am also lucky enough to have doctors acknowledge the power of things like breastmilk, skin to skin contact between baby and mom, more natural options in medicine and healing. The nurse doing the wound care on little man was the one who suggested I nurse him during the procedure. I was afraid I would be in her way, but she understood how powerful and comforting that could be for him. And I'm forever grateful for that attitude both in the NICU and the burn unit. <br />
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All in all, I'm just having a huge bout of mom guilt. I still have some serious mom guilt for not being able to "incubate" girlfriend through the full 40 weeks. And once again, my body (and this time, my brain) failed my child. I know it'll soon subside, for the most part. But it sucks. December 11th sucks. My blendtec sucks. Not sure I'll ever make soup again. As it stands, I've only managed to make breakfast once since we've been home (today, since the hubbs went back to work and I have to feed my child). Tonight will be the first time I make dinner. And you can be damned sure that little man will be in daddy's arms while I'm doing it.<br />
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I am still a huge proponent of baby wearing, and I still know that if I didn't wear them while cooking, then cooking would not have been done. But I'll never use a blender or food processor again while wearing them. And I'll be a million time more thoughtful and careful about my actions in the kitchen, instead of just pushing to get it done.<br />
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And this kiddo? I'm sure he'll be fine. He shouldn't remember any of this. Hopefully there'll be little to no scarring. And this will be his war story. And he's just awfully cute.<br />
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Loves!Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-6783909634729553542014-12-04T20:01:00.000-05:002014-12-04T20:01:06.556-05:00Sweet potato latkes topped with goodnessSo, while searching for a yummy cranberry sauce recipe for Thanksgiving, I stumbled across <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/the-chew/recipes/holiday-sweet-potato-latkes-cranberry-chutney-carla-hall">Carla Hall's sweet potato latkes and cranberry chutney recipe.</a> So I made the chutney and thought nothing of it.<br />
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Until the other night. When I had a ton of chutney, some sweet potatoes I didn't use for Thanksgiving, and some brie just laying around. And I was feeling particularly lazy, so didn't defrost any meat for dinner. And I was wondering how on earth I was going to somehow turn that into an entire meal. And then, brilliance struck.<br />
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I had eggplant. And brie. And pancetta. And so, I made some stackers.<br />
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I followed her directions for the latkes. Then I sauteed some eggplant in my trusty cast iron skillet in evoo, salt and pepper. Then I topped that with brie. I stuck that in the oven under broil until the cheese got all melty and bubbly. While it was broiling, I crisped some pancetta in the skillet. I topped the stack with that, and a nice big dollop of the chutney.<br />
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I honestly had no idea how this would turn out. But it was incredible. Shockingly amazing. All the salty, sweet, creamy, crispy deliciousness.<br />
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You should make this for sure!<br />
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Loves!Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944371415136205779.post-38387250962396141332014-11-21T22:05:00.001-05:002014-11-21T22:05:29.880-05:00Amazeballs! BEST SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS EVER AND EVER THE ENDI've probably made that claim before. But this time, I super serious mean it. Because this was the best meal ever. Not only was it the PERFECT way to end a week that wasn't so hot (so. much. house. to. fix.), but it also just matched the rainy cold mood outside. <br />
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I mean.......<br />
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Come on now. That's perfection in a bowl right there. This is one of those meals that we wish we had people over for because everyone should know how freakin delish this is. But I'll share all my secrets. And of course, some of them are not mine. Because internet.<br />
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The meatball recipe is courtesy of <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alexandra-guarnaschelli/pork-meatballs-recipe2.html">Alex Guarnaschelli.</a> You see her judge on "Chopped", and she just recently became an Iron Chef. And the woman can give perfect mom face. And apparently, she also has a mother that created the world's greatest meatballs. I was skeptical at first because really? Sour cream in meatballs with gravy? But I decided to give it a try. So here's what I did.<br />
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I used half pork, half beef. I actually used half breakfast sausage from whole foods, which is just ground pork with some sage in it. I didn't taste the sage at all, so you could go either way with that. I also NEVER have fennel fronds, but I happened to have them, so I used those instead of the fennel seed, because fresh herbs in meatballs make life sing. I followed everything else exactly as she said to. I thought it was CA-RAZY to not use garlic or onions in the meatballs, but she knows what she's doing. Oh yeah, and also I made my own breadcrumbs. I just used some baguette I made, ground it up, and toasted it in the cast iron skillet with some butter and olive oil. I recommend this. I hate store bought breadcrumbs.<br />
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So I cooked mine in a big ole dutch oven. The one I then made my gravy in.<br />
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I did just like she said, brown on all sides and leave the center rare. It took me 4 separate rounds to make all of them. Then I started on the gravy. I didn't use her gravy recipe, because I really like mine, and I super don't like sugar in mine. So here's what I did.<br />
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Remove the meatballs from the dutch oven and add a touch more evoo. I used shallots this time because I didn't have any onions. I ended up using 2 pretty large shallots, diced up. Then added some garlic (I use the <a href="http://www.jerseygirlgonegranola.com/2013/05/hummus-garlic-goodness-oh-my.html">lightly toasted garlic in evoo</a> that I always have on hand). I threw in some tomato paste- I use the squeezy tubes of it and used about half a tube. Which probably equals 2 to 3 tablespoons. I let that all cook together until it gets a nice deep auburn color. Then add 2 jars of crushed tomatoes. Currently, we use the Jovial Organic brand that are plum tomatoes from Italy. I believe it's the only brand of jarred crushed tomatoes that they sell at the Whole Foods by me. And I love that they don't add basil or anything to it. Just do me a favor and NEVER EVER EVER buy cans of crushed tomatoes. SO. MUCH. BAD. Just say no. I digress.<br />
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Then, I fill the jars about half way with filtered water, shake it up to get all the tomato remnants out of the jars, and add that to the pot. Then throw your meatballs back in, let it get to a low boil, then simmer for however long you feel like, but make sure the meatballs are cooked through before you turn it off. You won't even need to add salt or pepper because the meatballs impart such an amazing flavor. Caution- if you add salt at the beginning, it will almost definitely be too salty by the time it's done cooking.<br />
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Your entire house will smell like Italy and you will love it. You also will not be able to stop eating by the spoonfuls, or dunking bread into it while awaiting your spouse's arrival.<br />
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And also, you may have some adorable helpers who want to help you eat it by the spoonfuls. And take pictures.<br />
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Grating all the cheese. Nice work kiddo!<br />
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So yeah. Anytime you want a cozy, comfort meal, make this. It really doesn't take long at all, and it's SO WORTH IT. I'll be eating it again at 10:30 tonight after my son sucks the life out of me, er, nurses to sleep. For hours.<br />
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Amore!<br />
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<br />Jersey Girl Gone Granolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08056888405971927607noreply@blogger.com0